Maybe I Am a Role Model?

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barkley role model
Nobody wants to follow a loser
(unless you’re a loyal Bengals fan).
Acquiring followers requires success,
credibility, winning.
Most of us don’t seek to rule the world
(or even the entire tri-state area if you follow Phineas & Ferb)
or seek 1,000 Facebook friends or Twitter followers.
And we might buy into the old Charles Barkley
“I am not a role model” line.
But like it or not we all influence the people
each day that our life touches.
Pretty serious business when we call ourselves Christians.
Ultimately we aren’t looking for “followers”, but trying to
live in a way that will lead others to follow the One that
we follow.
I’ve never been so wowed by someone’s biblical
knowledge that I was motivated to make
major changes in my life.
But I have certainly been influenced by those
who lean on the understanding of God’s word and
His promises, especially when they hold close to these
things in life’s most difficult times.
Do we live like winners or losers?
The Bible was not written to simply be studied.
Possession of knowledge by itself has no real value.
The Holy Bible was written to change us….constantly.
change obama style(If we could change him, that would be nice also), but seriously………
Success?  Certainly not financial or in ways of the world.  Success (being a winner) shines brightest in our relationships.  Do our relationships cause others to look favorably on our faith…..our Lord?  Sure relationships are tough because
we can’t correctly do anything that we simply do not
understand (insert husband, wife, or boss joke here).
We must constantly seek understanding daily from
God’s word that changes our hearts……
and changes our lives.
When we struggle with relationships,
we may not necessarily struggle with God,
but solutions are certainly found in HIS living word.
Credibility or our ability to influence those around us in a
positive way, comes not simply from knowledge, even
Biblical knowledge.  It comes from living powefuly for God
in our relationships as evidenced by unconditional love,
sacrificial love, and extending to others the same grace that is given to us.
People can’t see our minds, our hearts, or our intentions.  But they form opinions of our faith based on our words, our actions, our reactions, and the times we fail to take the necessary action.
Winner or loser?
Direction of your influence?
Figure out where it’s going and use God’s word each
day to begin to steer it in the right direction.
If someone seeks faith-related answers from you, will
your life dictate that you will have credibility in your answers?

Just Shock Me- Do Something Right

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DSC00215Expectations of others?
We all have discussions about it.
The frustration of other people letting us down.
Disappointing us with their actions or lack of action.
I once passed on this geniunely moronic strategy to my wife,
“I just have low expectations of everyone, and that way people never let me down or disappoint me”. 
True but crazy I guess.
We have people in our lives that we have to be able to depend on to do the right thing.
 And there are people whose actions or directions we have a degree of responsibility for -children, supervised co-workers, athletes that we may coach,etc.
(wouldn’t dare touch on the subject of spouse here).
In those cases, it’s vitally important to clearly state our expectations.
The wrong approach, the wrong perspective will constantly pound away at us
by manipulating one big thing that poisons our days,
‘Our level of irritation”. 
If I need someone to do something a certain way, then I better lay it out clearly.
Beyond that, it takes a good look in the old mirror.
What can I do to prevent poor outcomes?
How can I protect against my own bad reactions and responses?
How can I prevent allowing my moods to be at the mercies of others’ actions?
A good start is to raise our own standards,
our expectations of ourselves,
to never give others a reason to lower their opinions and expectations of us. 
We all have some person in our lives that we never want to disappoint, never let down.
Not because of fear of punishment or consequences,
but simply because of a level of respect and admiration that is earned over time.
Wouldn’t it be great to become “that person”?
Show me a person who not only knows God’s word, but obeys it and lives it.
Selfless, merciful, kind, hard-working, honest, patient, forgiving.
Able to tame their tongue and their keyboard.
A person of integrity, character- seemingly always doing what is right (by God’s standard) regardless of personal cost.
That’s the person I need to be like…..Christ-like. 
Change in others starts with change in me.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Change our faulty perspectives to match those of our Lord.
Pray, read, pray, listen……submit.
I bet if we work toward becoming that person that others don’t want to disappoint,
then we don’t find ourselves quite so disappointed in others.
Honest assessment of self tends to leave us with a new way of looking at others.
Yes, it does become necessary to adjust our expectations of others sometimes.
But I walk only in my own smelly shoes.
I better keep them walking in the right direction.
Someone might actually be following me or just watching me as I stumble.
Identifying and being affected by the stumbles of others is just a distraction from keeping myself on the path that God calls me to.
Seek a desire to please God, to not let Him down, to seek Him and His word.
His expectations of me.
Wow, that’s like an all day, everyday thing.
A closer look in the mirror.
No distractions.

Do Look Back

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In a family of six, there are so many days when the kitchen sink is stacked with dirty dishes, just waiting for their turn in the dishwasher as it completes its cycle.  In the name of speed and efficiency, cabinets are arranged over time to allow for quicker unloading operations.

Most important part of this particular system is storing all drinking glasses in the cabinet just above the dishwasher.  This works pretty well as long as the unloader is wise enough to swing the cabinet door into its fully opened position.  But it’s easy to forget when your mind is jumping ahead to the next five things that need to happen as soon as you tame the dirty dishes.  When inattentive dad (me) raises up at full speed with glass in hand from the bottom rack and finds the partially opened cabinet at full-speed, the impact of a bald head on the corner of the cabinet door is a painful experience.  Not sure what Yosemite Sam words came out of my mouth, but I did momentarily fear losing consciousness.

Remain standing, no blood, only a small bump.

As I regained my wits, I began to wonder how each of my  four kids would react if they walked into the kitchen to find me crumpled in the kitchen floor beside my best friend, the dishwasher.

My oldest daughter, 17, would certainly kneel down beside me and put her hand on my shoulder, “Daddy, are you ok?”  (COMPASSIONATE)

My youngest daughter, 15, would quickly assess the situation, “Hit your head on the cabinet, didn’t you dad?  You ok?”  (ANALYTICAL)

My youngest son, 7, would just start searching around on the floor for the wasp that his dad surely leaped up and swatted off the ceiling.  (ADVENTUROUS)

My oldest son, 13, would straddle my lifeless body to put a dirty bowl in the sink instead of the now empty dishwasher and say, “Hey dad, I think I wanna pre-order the new Black Ops.”  (OBLIVIOUS)

Four children, raised in the same home by the same parents, with such drastically different personalities.  How could this be?

Obviously, parents love and cherish the uniqueness of their children.

I feel fortunate to have had an understanding in the early stages of parenting to avoid at all costs the disastrous approach of the “why can’t you be more like your sister!” mentality.  I’m blessed on the flip side of this with the “error in someone else’s ways” approach where you can remind a child who witnesses a sibling’s misdeeds.  “Don’t ever repeat the words that you just heard your brother use!”

Confession:  I have trouble loving the uniqueness of God’s other children. 

I set others up to fail by setting unattainable and unfair expectations.

I expect others to behave in certain ways or perform certain tasks that I perhaps think they should have the awareness to do without being asked.

Maybe most of us share in this dark secret:

We allow our opinions of others to be based on “who they are not” or on actions that they fail to take. 

We expect every co-worker to be as hard-working and dependable as that lone overachiever……but we fail to do anything to encourage them toward better performance or help them find success.

We expect our spouse to notice the exact same unfinished tasks, messes, behavior problems, and hurt feelings, and to place the same value on them as we do .  We expect them to share in the same level of patience, problem solving efforts, and discipline.  But we fail to share with them our views or feelings.  Fail to plan together……….and we silently stew when they don’t choose the paths that we think they should have.

“Were you just waiting for me to unload the dishwasher……AGAIN?” (because you knew I might kill myself in the process?)

At our churches?  Maybe we fail to praise and encourage those who selflessly serve, while we’re too busy noticing or commenting about someone else failing to do something that we silently expect them to do (nobody ever told them or asked them…….they should just know, right?).  Maybe we unfairly compare someone in a particular role to the person who held that role previously.  They should “just know” all that is expected of them, right?

Forming opinions. Setting up people for failure in our own minds.   Judging people for who they are not, for what they are NOT doing.

I can tell you what I’m not……..enough like Jesus.

God loves me anyway.

God’s hope really is that all his children would be like His greatest , the Son of Man.

To be more like Jesus with each passing minute, this is our Heavenly Father’s desire for us.

To be transformed into the chracter of Jesus Christ our Saviour?

A tall order, I know.

A journey with no destination on this earth.

A path.

At what point others have reached on this path, we do not know.  Nor do we know the speed with which they travel.

But we do know that we make a choice to help them or hinder them on that path.

Our words, our actions, and our love can make their next step clearer and lighter.

God empowers us!

If someone is apparently sitting still, maybe we are the answered prayer to help get them moving again in the right direction.

We don’t want to miss that wonderful opportunity because we are busying our minds with thoughts of what they “should” be doing.

I can’t make Him love me less.

But I can please Him more.

God does not want us to fail.  He sets us up for success in every way.  And sometimes success God’s way requires us to enter the uncomfortable world of surrender.

I can talk behind your back about what you’re doing wrong or failing to do at all.

Or I can approach you and trust God to help us find a better way together.

On that same path, moving at different speeds………..I’m thankful for my brothers and sisters who were willing to wait for me, to patiently help me find the next step.

Glad that others didn’t give up on me and leave me behind.

This is one instance where it’s ok to look back.  Might be leaving somebody behind.  Do not give up.

                MATTHEW  19: 25 When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, “Who then can be saved?”

                                           26 Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Might want to look up also.  Might be a sharp object waiting for you.

Or you might find a patient, loving God…..waiting for you to trust Him enough to take the next step that He has prepared for you.