How Will I Laugh Tomorrow…..When I Can’t Even Smile Today?

Posted on August 15, 2014 by Karrick Dyer

If we fail to choose a destination, we most likely will end up in a place that we didn’t choose to be.

Punk/thrash band Suicidal Tendencies covers this concept pretty well in their 1988 song “How Will I Laugh Tomorrow…” the next line is “when I can’t even smile today.

Day after day, we live moment to moment, with no vision or planning for the future. No intention in our actions, no direction. Just getting by. Our mental state and our next action are dictated by the circumstances that we find ourselves digging out of, instead of our planning and intentions.

“The clock keeps ticking, but nothing else seems to change
Problems never solved, just rearranged
And when I think about all the times that I’ve had
Some were good most were bad”

How did I reach this point?

Maybe a better question would be, “how did I expect to wind up anywhere else?”

When my sons do something brainless and get a horrible result, my reaction is often, “Son! What did you think was gonna happen?”

They didn’t think far enough ahead (or they didn’t think at all). Their vision only reached the next 2 seconds and five feet ahead.

Extend this decision making process into adulthood.

Everyone has heard, “If you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?”

Eventually, our days are filled with do overs and damage control.

We can’t concern ourselves with saving money when we’re stressing over scraping up enough to pay this months bills.

We don’t worry about where our kids will be at 18 when we are constantly at the end or our rope with a couple of toddlers.

We don’t worry about running a 5k race when we’re ready to pass out from climbing a flight of stairs.

We can’t make plans for a better career path, when we’re struggling to hang on to the job we have.

We ruin new relationships because our current relationships are such a mess that we stay in a terrible state of mind.

Try to give a youth basketball player advice on shooting mechanics. Even if you’ve witnessed 15 straight misses and just want to offer a minor adjustment to their technique, the answer is always the same………”it just doesn’t feel right”. Translation=I’m comfortable doing it the wrong way and I’m not gonna change.

We are all guilty of this; only willing to make changes and adjustments in cases where we see instant results, improvement, or gratification.

We only concern ourselves with making that “next shot”. Five years from now, we still can’t shoot. We lose our love for the game, doubt our value to the team, and basketball becomes a miserable experience.

How will I laugh tomorrow, when I can’t even smile today?

Make a choice to laugh tomorrow. But making changes today doesn’t always mean that the laughter comes today. Stay the course. Change the future.

Make plans.

Make changes, even if you don’t see immediate results.

Obviously, we aren’t guaranteed of tomorrow. But we don’t have to find ourselves in a mess when it does come …..because we ignore it today and fail to prepare for it.

Don’t settle for being comfortable doing things the wrong way. Don’t be afraid to tackle difficult changes with an eye on the future.

Travel Sports and Sunday Games Are More Satanic Than Kiss Albums

Posted on August 12, 2014 by Karrick Dyer

I’ll admit it. Three of my kids have played travel sports. They even played on Sundays. Sometimes we missed church two Sundays in a row. Shriek!

Their mother and me thought our girls would be the next Mia Hamm and our son is the next Lebron James. And of course, if they are to go to college without paying for it, they need to play anywhere and everywhere and often. Right? No, not at all.

No, this isn’t another lengthy blasting of youth/travel sports taken too far by overzealous parents. It’s more like a gentle reminder of the delicate balance that exists between sports and faith in our children.

Sports teach kids things that words and parental modeling alone cannot. Teamwork, physical challenges, determination, overcoming adversity, and lessons in character just to name a few.
And sports can certainly teach an observant parent valuable lessons along the way (by watching other parents and coaches) in exactly how not to act.

I’ll skip right to what I believe to be the tipping point of that balance: when parents lead or allow their kids to believe that a sports game or practice is more important than their faith or church attendance.

When the traveling is over and your kids are beginning to make more of their own choices, what’s the message they have been hearing from their parents during their travels and adventures? When they make their own choices about church attendance and involvement, what will they choose? Which end of the scale are you pushing them toward?

Traveling time with family during the younger years is golden time. The memories, experiences, and friendships made are priceless. The absence from church services is temporary. But the importance placed on faith must be constant.

That kid that missed 4 weeks of Sunday church service as a 9 year-old will be 15 before you know it. The depth of their faith and the value it has in their life will not be dependent on where they spent those four Sundays. It will depend largely on the message they receive from their parents over the course of the entire 52 weeks.

Teach well. Make sure kids know that you’re not away from church because sports are more important. Keep your eyes open for teaching moments. As your kids get older, the moments become clearer. Are you prepared for them? And more importantly, how well have you prepared your kids for them?

A local basketball tournament changes schedules around and places your son’s team playing on Sunday. Let him know it’s ok to choose to go to church and miss his game. Let the choice be his, but lay out the steps for him to choose faith over sports.

Your daughter’s soccer coach holds practice on Wednesday nights during your church’s youth group activities. Let the choice be hers to make. Make sure she knows that you think it’s awesome if she makes the choice to attend youth group.

Encourage them to take those bold steps that say, “My faith in God is the center of my life.”

Yes, sports are a wonderful part of a child’s development in so many ways. But they are temporary. Parents have to be aware when the balance scales are tipping dangerously in the wrong direction.

“I can’t miss a single practice, no matter what.” The tipping point is when parents adopt this same philosophy.

And like sports are temporary, childhood is temporary. A big part of parenting is simply training up our children to make good choices as they mature.

Pave the way for these types of choices, encourage them:

“Coach, I won’t be at practice tonight. I’m going to church.”

“Coach, I’m not going to soccer camp this year. I’m going on a mission trip.”

“Coach, I’m going to miss some summer league games. I’m going to church camp.”

Sometimes it doesn’t matter where you are on a given Sunday morning. It matters greatly where your heart is and the lessons that your life speaks year-round.

Play hard. Have fun. Watch the scales.

The sports equipment goes to the yard sales and closets sooner than you realize.

Hopefully, most of us won’t wait til then to try to convince our kids how important a Christ-centered life is.

How You Gonna React?

Posted on August 11, 2014 by Karrick Dyer

Even boring, mild-mannered people have sudden bursts of emotion, excitement, and outward joy at times. A celebration of a championship for their favorite sports team or a last second victory (in a single meaningless game?). Tears of joy for the birth of a child or a baptism. When something great happens, why hold back? Enjoy the moment.

But what about when little things go wrong?

How do we react?

My pastor and friend delivered some solid life advice in sermon that has really stuck with me for these situations. I believe the sermon subject was relationships. He simply said this:

“Under-react.”

I don’t recall the biblical context or application that was applied, so I’m forced to provide my own from Colossians 3.

¹²Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. ¹³Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Since that day, I’ve paid careful attention to what triggers so many conflicts (my own and others).

In almost every situation where senseless or unnecessary conflict arises, there is a common denominator:

One of the involved parties overreacts to the actions of another.

Thirteen hours in a car with mom, dad, and four kids on a family trip……..what causes every conflict? An overreaction! Sure little brother shouldn’t have farted for the 28th time. Conflict arose when big sister acted like her eyes were bleeding and threatened to kill him.

You get the picture. Person A does something they shouldn’t. Person B reacts as if this justifies whatever bad reaction they unleash.

I understand that conflict isn’t always bad and sometimes becomes necessary.

But I think it’s important to think before we speak or act.

Plan ahead. Know what’s important. Know what’s worth fighting for.

When anger rises, ask the right questions, “is this worth getting mad over, worth fighting about?” “Am I about to do something that I’m gonna feel terrible about and have to apologize for later?” “What does my reaction teach my kids or anyone else that’s around?”

James 13 “Bear with each other….”

Be reminded of what’s really important. In the grand scheme of things (especially for Christians honestly seeking biblical and eternal perspectives), most things we get worked up about simply aren’t worth getting worked up about.

I wish:

I’d spoken a little more harshly.

I’d been a little less patient.

I’d never put myself in the other person’s shoes.

I’d make more exceptions when it comes to following God’s commands. But…….

I’d gotten angrier. Reacted like it was a bigger deal than it really was.

No, of course we don’t say these things.

So why do we continue to get fired up and overreact to things that don’t really amount to a hill of beans?

James 1:19-20

¹⁹My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, ²⁰because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

Kevin Ward, Jr., a 20 year-old race car driver died in a tragic accident last night after he was struck by Tony Stewart’s car. I’m not a racing expert or even a fan, and I’m not going to speculate on who was at fault. But I am certain of this. Two men found themselves in a situation where their anger rose. Neither man “under-reacted”. If only one had done so, a tragic death could have been prevented.

When something great happens…….don’t be afraid to act like something great happened. Share the moment with others.
When the anger, impatience, and irritation begin to stir……..walk away, count to 10 (or to 1000), pray. THINK.
UNDER-REACT.

He’s a Good Boy…..When He’s Asleep

Posted on August 9, 2014 by Karrick Dyer

Very few people have the ability to be obnoxious, even in their sleep.

I would be one of those people.

No, I don’t snore. Nor do I kick, punch, swear, or yell.

My sin of slumber?

The iPhone alarm with hand-picked tunes for an alarm tone.

I don’t see it as a problem.

But I am told that my wife hates it when Bohemian Rhapsody makes it all the way to the part where the Wayne and Garth start rocking out in the Gremlin…..and it fails to wake me.

Or perhaps a quick dose of Parry Gripp’s “Chimpanzee Ridin on a Segway”.

Sure to irritate every time.

And I’m a chronic snoozer.

But overall, everybody is on pretty good behavior during their hours of slumber.

It’s during those darn waking hours that we are destined to start screwing up.

And just like a spouse with an obnoxious alarm, it’s much much easier to get irritated with others’ shortcomings rather than our own.

Sometimes we have the luxury of avoiding offensive others.

But what about when those offensive others happen to be our children?

“_______ is acting like a complete moron.”

“Son, if you’re trying to get on my nerves, you’re doing a great job.”

“______ hasn’t hit a lick at anything all day. It would be nice to have some help.”

So following years of faulty reasoning a bad parental reactions, it finally occurred to me…….

in ALL cases of poor habits and behaviors displayed by my kids, they learned them for me.

And even if in cases where I didn’t specifically teach or model pure forms of ignorance, obnoxiousness, or laziness, I failed in one of two simple areas:

1) Consistently modeling good habits, behaviors, and reactions.

2) Giving specific instructions in cases where I have specific expectations.

If my kids have small failures along the way, it’s because of me. It’s up to me to make corrections.

Effective parenting dictates that the buck stops here when it comes to accepting responsibility for shortcomings.

When my kids seem to excel at something, the praise goes elsewhere.

Victories are a gift from God.

He will help you turn your next struggle into a victory when you humbly, patiently, and obediently look to Him for guidance.

Catch your kids doing something right and praise them for it.

Catch them struggling with something and know it’s up to you to help them work through it.

No blaming and complaining allowed.

No thinking “I got this, I’m good at this.”

No leaving God out of the plans (or the battles).

Give thanks always for the privlage of parenthood.

Don’t be too proud to ask for help.

And make it a point each day to look down on your children while they sleep.

A great reminder of a parent’s great responsiblility and great purpose in life.

A great reminder of God’s love for us and our dependence on Him.

Now go find some really bad music to set 5am alarm to……even if you have no intention of getting up.

Having a spouse talk about your stupidity promotes humility.

I Forgot How Bad Walmart Sucks

Posted on August 7, 2014 by Karrick Dyer

I’m not just a “glass half-full” guy. I’m a glass 3/4 full guy.

I tune out the chatter of all the ills and downfalls of my small town, my state, and the USA. Look for the good and you will find it. If you can’t find it, look harder. Or better yet, just set out to make some small part of your world a little better each day. Find the bright side. Yeah, that sounds good.

And then I wake up in a strange town in desperate need of donuts, night crawlers, and chicken livers. Without knowing where to turn for these three key items, I have a lapse in judgement and ask Siri those words that don’t seem natural to me, “driving directions to Walmart”. I don’t do Walmart when I’m at home, but that’s another story for another day.

This is an early morning trip, designed to miss the first of the month mayhem. I arrived in a good mood, happy to be away from a stressful job, free to spend a relaxing day of fishing with my family. I drove away minutes later, convinced that our country is in complete and hopeless decay.

I suppose our view of the world depends on which part of the world we’re looking at, who we spend our time with, and what types of media we allow to invade our brain. For those who work at Walmart, you have my sympathy. Unconsciously, I have sheltered myself daily from a large segment of people.

As a teen, during the “rock music will send you to hell” era, I used to tell people that people didn’t turn to the ways of evil because they listened to heavy metal, but for those that were heavy into evil……heavy metal would obviously be the music of choice. So I’m not saying that everybody that shops at Walmart is lazy. But if you are lazy, then you wouldn’t dream of shopping anywhere else.

It’s an absolute haven for people who come from the school of thought that preaches doing as little as humanly possible and the greatest theme for life in general,

“Somebody else will get it.”

The store wasn’t very full at this particular time of morning. I was amazed at the number of motorized shopping carts in use, not because they were needed by most……..just because they were so convenient and so dang available at this early hour.

Impaired lady in checkout line ramming her cart against the counter, causing the cashier a momentary panic……check.

Lady with a half-dressed infant slung uncomfortably in the bread basket of the shopping cart……check.

And the greatest scene of all came in the parking lot. 47 shopping carts. Seven in cart corrals. Forty running wild. Forty people put their purchases in their car and listened to that voice in their head,

“Somebody else will get it.”

Too lazy to walk 15 feet to do the right thing. Fifteen feet away from freeing up parking spaces and reducing the grave danger of runaway shopping carts. But it’s too much to take on. I’ll just get in my car and leave it there for someone else to deal with.

So I get judgy. I go ahead and assume, that of those 40 cart leavers, zero have had a job and done it well. If they do have a job, I bet they live in total fear of doing too much or doing more than their share (I’m sure they have nothing to fear). I bet they talk quite a bit about what’s fair. I bet they talk a lot about what they think the government should be doing for them. I bet some have never worked, never tried, and never intend to. I bet they’re too lazy to raise their kids right.

A real Sherlock Holmes. Amazing what a guy can deduct from a few scattered carts on a Walmart parking lot.

But what if every cart was left by a 90 year-old WWII vet or a single mother with four kids under the age of 5? What if they were struggling and I didn’t even notice? Didn’t offer to lend a hand.

Maybe the guy with the 3/4 full cup needs to look past the empty buggies and silly judgemental assumptions.

Find a greater, God honoring purpose. Count blessings. If my cup is overflowing, I need to ignore the objects and distractions and open my eyes to the people around me. Fill someone else’s cup. Make some part of the world better even if that part happens to be a Walmart parking lot. It’s not about the place. It’s about the people.

But Walmart still sucks.

Daily “I” Exam

Posted on July 17, 2014 by Karrick Dyer

Today………

I don’t have to have clear sight of the final step. I just have to have enough faith to take the next one.

I will not allow hurry to enter my world.

I don’t have to finish everything. I just have to make steady progress.

I will accept responsibility for my own failures. I refuse to blame.

I will not take actions that require apologies tomorrow.

I will learn from my mistakes.

I will pray.

I will give thanks to my Heavenly Father for all things.

I will forgive.

I will not ask for help if I can do it myself.

I will not over-react.

I will look for the bright side in every situation.

I’ll remember that I am weak but He is strong.

I will know how valued I am as a child of the King.

I refuse to allow discouragement to stick around.

I will be slow to anger.

I will search for eternal perspective in all of life’s situation’s.

I will allow God’s word to transform my mind daily.

I will lead patiently.

I will give.

I will smile.

I will laugh, and others will laugh with me.

I will sing, even when I don’t know the words.

I will learn something new.

I will encourage, pat somone on the back as I pass by.

I will listen.

I will approach my work as if doing it for the Lord. I will not half-way do anything.

I will be a peacemaker.

I will choose my words wisely.

I will cheer others.

I won’t sweat the small stuff, but I will celebrate small victories.

I will value people more than tasks and schedules.

I will remain calm in the storms, knowing God is with me.

I will make myself last, not first.

I will model a life worth living. Someone is always watching. I AM a role model.

I will love.

I will make the most of today, knowing that God holds every tomorrow.

We All Learn In the Yellow Submarine

Posted on July 14, 2014 by Karrick Dyer

Summer vacation 2014. Still waiting for a call from social services. I don’t think the security cameras at Food Lion will be able to track my whereabouts since my wife paid cash, following the sudden eruption of violence between my son and me outside the checkout line.

Let’s travel back in time a few moments to the events leading up to the Food Lion incident. Get out of bed at 4am, 11 hours on the road to Nags Head, NC. 10:30am breakfast, arrive at an empty cupboard beach house at 4:30 without any further meals.

Great plan, all the moms in our group make a trip to the supermarket and dads can order pizza. The only problem with this is that over half the people vacationing here arrive on the island between 3 & 5 on Saturday (and arrive hungry). Can’t even get through on the phone to order a pizza. “That’s ok. I can just drive to the Yellow Submarine and order it and wait for it.” (first mistake). My 8 year-old son decides to go with me. (second mistake? nah). Very busy place. We are told it will be a 45 minute wait for our order. No problem.

We decide to walk next door to the supermarket to find my wife and make sure the balance of junk food and health food doesn’t tip too far in the health food direction. She is already in the checkout line with a full buggy. As we approach and say hello, it happens. Kal suddenly turns like Big John Studd and head butts me in the gut (a growling empty stomach). It feels like a hit below the belt and I flash back to my junior year of high school in 1985 when boys drilled each other in the nuts for entertainment. I reacted just like any 16 year-old would…….I punched Kal in the back…..right there in Food Lion……in the checkout line…..the 10-deep checkout line.

Talking quietly and deliberately to him even though my teeth were clenched tightly together, “I have told you to never do that to me!”

The look of horror on my wife’s face just said, “oh mercy, we’re gonna get our kids taken away”. She might have possibly scolded me at this point, but maybe not…….

Kal and I turned and left Food Lion. Both of us realized we had done something we shouldn’t have. We killed a few minutes at Dunkin Donuts and returned to Yellow Submarine to wait for our order, sitting at a booth just inside the door. It become evident that there was no way our order would be ready in 45 minutes.

My “how to be a better dad” instincts were on high alert now after the head-butt/back-punch incident. I soon forgot about my travel exhaustion, growling belly, and headache that was coming on fast from not eating. As I sat across the booth from my child, this precious gift from God, looking into his innocent eyes, questions started racing through my mind:

1) What kind of adult do I hope and pray that he will become?

2) How the heck can his mother and me lead him to be the person he needs to be?

3) Am I truly paying close enough attention to being the best dad I can be every minute of every day.

And almost comically, teaching moments seemed to come in waves in the coming moments (for both of us) as a large and very rude and impatient crowd had gathered around our booth waiting to pick up their orders.

“Dad, I’m starving. When’s our food gonna be ready?” (“You’re hungry son. You’re not starving. There are a lot of people in this world who will die because they have nothing to eat and lots who will eat nothing at all today. We are thankful that we are going to be eating soon.) A lesson in GRATITUDE.

People over our shoulder griping about being told it would take 40 minutes but it’s taking an hour. “Son, I wonder what those people are gonna do with that extra 20 minutes they’re complaining about…..must be something pretty special.” Yeah, I know. Like my wife, you question the value of a little perspective of sarcastic wit? A lesson in figuring out the reality of situations.

People over our shoulder, “This is ridiculous. Let’s just cancel our order and get our money back.” (“Hey Kal, maybe if they cancel their order, we can buy their food at a discounted price. I’m sure somebody back at the house will want it.” **Always find a bright side, squash negativity, even if it’s not your own.** A lesson in being POSITIVE.

People over our shoulder demanding that the counter help go back to the kitchen to find out how much longer their order will be (when they are abviously overwhelmed) “Kal, what if every single one of these people waiting here did that? If we did that, wouldn’t it be like jumping up and saying we are more important than everybody else?” A lesson in HUMILITY.

People over our shoulder basically just being mean to the workers, “Kal, these people are doing the best they can. They might be able to take care of 50 orders in an hour and they’ve had 100 come in. They are doing the best they can. It doesn’t matter if we wait here for another hour, WE ARE GOING TO BE KIND!” (and I said it loud enough to embarrass some of the grumblers into hushing……….but I regret not doing more to defend some of these young folks who really were working hard). A lesson in KINDNESS and putting ourselves in other people’s shoes.

“Dad, do you think we’ll have to wait much longer?” Strangely enough, if I hadn’t punched him in the back, I most likely would have answered his questions differently, like a simple, “hush son, I don’t know, I’m STARVING too”. But instead I just answered his final question with “probably not much longer buddy. If you’re bored, you can play games on my phone or we can walk around and look at some of the neat stuff on the walls.” His reply, “Nah, I’m good”. Little lessons learned I think.

Picked up my order, made a big production out of smiling and loudly thanking the workers and putting money in the tip jar (almost had to push the rude folks out of the way to do so).

The right way becomes so easy to see after you’ve painfully chosen the wrong way. And sometimes it’s good to have strangers around to remind you how not to act when you’re eager to share wisdom with your kids.

Just Living…..Or Fully Alive?

Posted on June 30, 2014 by Karrick Dyer

I hear it often: someone is greeted with a “how are you doing?”

The response: “Well, I’m above ground and that’s a good thing.”

Is it?

Is it enough to just be living and breathing? To just exist, floating from one moment to the next with no clear intention.

God calls us to be ALIVE in Him, to serve His greater purpose.

Collosians 3 tells us that we, as Christians, are made alive in Christ.

Guys like me, we stumble along, trying to live out our lives as Christians………..in our mind and on a keyboard. Spending too much time reading and sorting out thoughts.

Seemingly having a relationship with God, but leaving out a large part of that relationship……loving His people. Love doesn’t happen in books, thoughts, theories, or in one’s mind.

Love happens in deed. For all those things (opportunities) that I may claim to “not have time for” because of work and family time obligations, etc, it’s not TIME that I am lacking. It is COMPASSION that I am lacking.

Compassion, being a Christian, is First Baptist Church in Grayson, KY pulling together people and resources to package over 120,000 meals to send to Haiti……… in one day.

A church this size, in a community the size of ours, has no business pulling off something so monumental.

But when compassion and love become action, all things are possible with God.

A mission team from First Church of Christ in Grayson is currently serving in the Dominican Republic, sharing God’s love and the hope of the story of Jesus. Daily, the pictures are shared on Facebook of our youth and adults conducting a VBS at an orphanage, singing praises to God, preaching, and simply loving His people there.

Compassion. Love. Faith. Action.

These are the things that change lives, give hope.

I can’t say that I’ve ever experienced a true life-changing moment because of things I’ve read or words that have been spoken to me.

Life change happens when people are loved and when they witness the love of Jesus being poured out around them. It’s a blessing right now to see God’s people in Grayson, KY pouring it out so faithfully.

Lives are touched. Lives are changed. God’s people are ALIVE here. Bless these fine people and pray that because of their efforts and faithfulness, countless others will become alive in Christ.

Image Is Everything?

Posted on June 28, 2014 by Karrick Dyer

Kids need their parents’ approval. They need encouragement. Security.

But they don’t need to grow up watching their parents live as if the approval of the world is of great importance.

Galatians 1:10

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁰Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

So how do we raise kids who are secure enough to walk around in public with their pants unzipped and leave home each day without looking in the mirror?

Maybe the first step is to commit to redefining “image”. What do others think of me vs. what do others think of my God. Sure, we can dress in Iron Maiden and Metallica shirts just to avoid the cookie cutter church guy image (but that qualifies as image management that should be avoided). And when we do something nutty in public, and our kids say, “Dad! What are people going to think?”, we can fire off that we don’t really care what people think. We say we don’t care what people think, but do our actions really portray a life that revolves around pleasing God or trying to impress man.

Ultimately, parents need to consistently model for their children, a life of obedience to God. Not a life where anything less than perfection is considered failure, but a life that displays daily choices and actions that paint a picture of surrender. Peace comes from God’s love and living to please Him. Choose daily to love others (not just the easy-to-love folks), serve others, give up our own selfish desires, and seek the character of Christ.

Just a few simple suggestions or at least some things to think about before our kids freak out because they can’t find a boyfriend or girlfriend at age 15 or post a selfie on Instagram that gets 100 likes (or whatever Instagram pics get?) And why should anybody listen to me? Because I have two boys (14 & 8) that have never combed their hair. That pretty much qualifies me as an expert in leading children down the path of “I’m not real worried about what anybody thinks of my appearance”.

1) Don’t complain about doing a good deed and not receiving praise or recognition. You might be doing it for the wrong reasons.

2) Do look for opportunities to praise and encourage others. Pride fools us into thinking we are deserving of gratitude and recognition. We can’t demand these things but we must give them to others.

3) Serve others. Put others before yourself.

4) Don’t obsess over appearance (your own or your childrens’). Avoid phrases like, “you’re not going out of the house like that”. If their tail is clean and proplerly covered and their teeth are brushed, they are ready to face the world. God doesn’t judge us by our neatly combed hair or having clothes that match. Kill the “what will people think” mentality, early and often.

5) Don’t play the fairness card. Don’t even talk about it. “If I do ___ , I deserve ___ . ” “I’ve done twice as much work as my brother so I DESERVE _____ .” Another part of the battle with pride. Kids need to learn to do the right thing without reward. Life’s not fair so suck it up, and all that great stuff our kids hate to hear.

6) Love unconditionally, just as God loves us. Appearance and performance can’t be viewed by children as a measuring stick of our love for them. We love who they are and not how they look or what they accomplish.

7) Don’t use overkill with the word “pretty”. Beauty is on the inside. Make sure your kids know it.

8) Always be mindful of making choices based on the management of your image. Am I trying to impress man?

The only “what will people think” that matters is “what will people think of my Lord because of the way I live my life”? Can I influence them to follow who I follow? Am I maintaining an image that influences others in some way that helps them find their identity as a servant of Christ?

You don’t have to like my hair or clothes, but on my worst days, I can’t do anything to turn someone away from my Savior.

It Takes A Village

Posted on June 3, 2014 by Karrick Dyer

I turned 46 last week.

In their birthday wish, someone jokingly asked if I had a funny story to share from the events of the day.

It’s usually not hard for me to come up with a tale of my own incompetence or seemingly planned misfortune.

Sure, I did fall backwards on my birthday while hand-trucking a refrigerator and it did sort of come down on top of me (but I’m so experienced and skilled at falling that I wasn’t hurt).

And I did spend two hours trying to remove the chipped and broken blades on my riding lawnmower. Cut my hand open while impatiently separating the 3-pack of new blades. And it only took me 20 minutes to attach the new blades the second time when I realized that I’d installed all three of them upside down the first time.

It’s almost as if I do stupid stuff for the purpose of telling good stories.

Laughing at myself comes naturally. Perhaps speaking in general terms of being richly blessed seems natural too. But puclicly counting blessings just seems awkward; more like bragging about our own good fortunes than about the goodness of God.

But…..today, I make an exception about “bragging”.

The biggest event of this week was not the birthday of a middle-aged man or his acts of goofiness.

A remarkable young lady graduated from high school this week. Nothing remarkable about that. Thousands of kids graduate every day at this time of year, and every parent thinks their kid is amazing.

But, Oh my gosh! When did my baby girl become this young lady?

And the mind of a parent spins and reflects.

The journey from birth to 18 years.

How did she become the person she is today?

I see obvious physical and personality resemblances to her mother and me that make me smile.

But I also see amazing character traits that go beyond the trial and error parenting journey that her mother and I have traveled for 18 years.

It is evident that God uses ordinary people to impact our kids’ lives in amazing ways as they are growing up.

Hindsight is a little clearer now of the awesome collective influence of these people……so I brag on them:

The Sunday school teacher who taught her about the love of Jesus.

The basketball coach who pushed her a little harder than she wanted to be pushed. Lessons is toughness and determination.

The childrens minister who inspired a love for reading the Bible.

Grandmothers who were available for anything and everything around the clock year-around.

A student minister who taught her what it meant to love Jesus and keep a pure heart.

A piano teacher that pushed her to practice until she got it right.

Soccer coaches that helped her find the confidence to believe she could do anything she set her mind to.

Teachers who always managed to make her feel special in a classroom crowded with so many other kids.

The church Christmas program coordinator who whispered her lines to her as she repeated them so quietly that no one could hear.

Cross-country and track coaches that turned her loose and encouraged her every practice, every race. Always believed in her.

Teachers who stirred her creativity and made sure she figured things out on her own.

Two younger brothers who were always secretly proud to say, “that’s my sister.”

Parents of friends who treated her like their own daughter.

A sister that shared with her every part of life. A true best friend.

The student minister who celebrated her graduation in our church service, and handed her a microphone to hear her boldly and confidently tell of her plans to attend a Christian university and serve God in the mission field.

A mother. A tireless worker. Selfless. Perfect model of a godly woman.

It takes a village to raise a child.

I’m thankful for the village that’s raising my children.

Pray for our children.

Pray…….and get movin. Every child is amazing. I bet God can find an amazing part for you to play in a child’s life today.

Thanks to all who have played a part in my daughter’s life (so far).

Just A Dad

"Hindsight is always 20/20. Lookin back, it's still a bit fuzzy." Dave Mustaine

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