Read It Again, Sam

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Amazing how different seasons of life can give you such different comforts from the same bible verse.
“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14.

When Kristy and I had 3 kids under the age of 4, I understood it to mean that a drowning man shouldn’t pummel someone who’s trying to save him.  Just quit fighting long enough to be pulled to safety. Recognize the times when your own strength is not enough and surrender. Still true, of course, and it’s definitely easier said than done. Now that our kids are older and life seems to move at a slower speed (or maybe I’ve just adjusted my own speed?), I see this verser in a new way.

We become fooled in so many situations into reacting as if other people’s opinions carry more weight than pleasing God. We overreact to others’ actions, reactions, and opinions. I can only be concerned about someone else’s negativity and actions if they believe that I fail to honor and obey God, and give my best effort to grow daily toward the character of Christ………and they’re right. When we are fortunate enough to find God’s righteousness in life’s situations, we can find comfort and confidence in this (just can’t ruin it by explaining to someone how righteous we might feel that we are). Pleasing God is greater than pleasing man. If I’m comfortable with how God sees me in a situation, there is no need to confront or debate someone to the death until they apologize or admit wrong. Walk away.
God’s word really is the owners manual for life (except we can’t shove it in a drawer like a betamax instruction manual and act like we don’t need it anymore).

betamax

The same verse can give us God’s truths for vastly different trials in life depending on when we read it. His word, truths, and promises never change…….but our lives do. If we don’t continue to read His word, then lifes changes will surely find us choosing wrong paths, beaten, discouraged, wandering, wondering……..fighting on our own.

Just keep reading!

I’m Not a Freaking Idiot

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we're not babies

Napoleon Dynamite gets offended when his grandma tells him that’s she sending a relative over to look after him and his 32 year-old brother while she is away.

I find myself getting irritated in much the same manner, getting fired up because I’m fooled into believing that I’m entitled to be treated or spoken to in a certain manner.

“Nobody talks to me the way!  Who do you think you are?”

When I was younger, I found myself in constant conflict, especially in the workplace because I thought somebody was insulting me, trying to push me around, or talking down to me.  Those conflicts have mostly disappeared over time because of two main reasons:

1) Consistent improvement in the basic ability to do the right thing.  One tends to get pretty defensive when one is challenged about something that you knowingly did wrong or failed to do at all.  It becomes much easier to stand your ground without becoming confrontational (and to let insults and challenges roll off your back) as you progress toward being a person who does what they’re supposed to do as well as doing exactly what you say you will do.

2) Learning (slowly) to recognize the times when my own pride leads me to react in ways that simply aren’t righteous or healthy in relationships.

Proverbs 14:3   A fool’s mouth lashes out with pride, but the lips of the wise protect them.

“I’m not an idiot.  I deserve a little respect.”

Respect is earned, not commanded……over time.  Obeying God’s commands consistently over time and serving others instead of self accomplishes this……over time, as long as we avoid the mentality of “hey, look at me” and “don’t they know what I have done, don’t they know who I am”.   I will concede that it does sometimes become necessary when dealing with our own children to paint them a little picture of sacrifices that are made for them in order to help them discover the concept of respect and gratitude.  But in general terms, if you are doing the things that earn respect, it shouldn’t be necessary to demand that someone show you respect.

Proverbs 13:10  Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.

So as pride diminishes, so does strife, conflict.  But pride never quietly fades away.  We must always be aware of its presence, aware of the times when it falsely guides our thoughts, actions and reactions:
“Karrick, I’m going out the door, don’t fall back asleep and make Kal late for school.”  And PRIDE answers in my head, “yeah, I know, I’m not a freaking idiot.  I’ve been doing this for a while you know.  I deserve to be treated like a responsible adult here!”  But TRUTH says 1) I need to get my tail out of bed  2) I failed to earn respect because I have a history of fouling up little matters like this.
What about coaching basketball games, engaging in conflict with referees?  Not because of bad calls, that comes with the territory.   I say it often, but it’s a poor excuse for poor behavior, “I don’t mind bad officiating, I just can’t stand it when they’re jerks about it.”  Translation= they challenged me or took actions that tried to show me who was in control.  PRIDE on my part answered “I’m not looking for a fight, but I’m not taking a step back either”.  And……even though I tell my players to take care of the things that they control and the things that are important, I fail in that very area.  PRIDE tells me to keep taking steps forward.  Conflict escalates.  The things that are truly important in a basketball game, in life…….are pushed aside.  Derailed by pride.  Losing sight of things that are truly important: people, relationships, the direction of my influence, and my representation of my faith and my Savior.
It’s a dangerous thing to be distracted in life in instances where we allow ourselves to be controlled by feelings of “what we deserve”.  I’m certain that I don’t want to dig and fight too hard in this life for what I truly deserve.

Daddy, How Can You Be a Christian AND a Democrat?

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“Daddy, how can you be a Christian and be a Democrat?”
Honest question. Thirty days later I still don’t have the answer.
I’ve read a lot of bible verses about subjects like “work” and
“looking after orphans and widows”.
I even came across this one:
“You shall not murder.” Exodus 20:13
So now, I have arrived at this conclusion:
I don’t have THE answer. I have AN answer.
Biblical truths form my belief system.
These beliefs determine my attitudes and my actions.
But it’s been awhile since I had a chat with anyone on the supreme court about abortion.
And I’m still waiting for my opportunity to weigh in on a national level
on matters like welfare and healthcare reform.
For Christians, political parties cannot define who we are.
I assume many Christians fall into a similar category; one party consistently
supports or promotes positions that are exactly
“what is wrong with our country”.
But truthfully, picking a side in politics simply dictates how we might vote.
It doesn’t dictate how we live.
My approach to political discussions resembles the exchanges I have with
someone who has a favorite sports team that I despise.
I dislike everything about the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Louisville Cardinals.
And I don’t know why or how anyone arrives at the point of being fans, but some fine
people and dear friends are devoted fans of these teams.
Our different views provide opportunities for colorful discussion, but
it can never affect our relationships.
If the guy sitting next to me in a pew (hypothetical yes, because I sit alone….
bad singing and all) happens to run for sheriff or mayor as a Democrat in Smalltown, USA
then I can’t really label him as a baby killer and assume that he will fight to the
death for anything and everything that the Democratic party stands for on
a national level.

boss hog

He could be a 4th generation Democrat that believes in the same biblical truths as me.

Perhaps his interpretation of taking care of widows and orphans differs slightly from my own.

It’s not, and cannot be made to be a huge issue.

What is the huge issue?

I believe it is this:  that Christians should be very careful how they
speak and interact with others when it comes to political differences.

It matters not if someone is Republican or Democrat.

It matters only if they are a believer or an unbeliever.

Christians must have an awareness of refusing to water down or compromise biblical truths.

But as we engage with others in interactions of a political nature we must also be

aware of the dangers of our actions and words ensuring

that unbelievers will remain unbelievers.

Live what you believe…….absolutely.

And know that political debate, while it can stimulate intelligent and entertaining discussion,

is not an effective ministry tool.  It is a good way to identify with those who believe as you do.

It may not be the best way to change the beliefs of those who do not.

And it may not be the best way to spend your time and energy.

I’m Not Gonna Do It, So Don’t Ask

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I swear, if one more person asks me to do
something, it’s gonna get ugly!
“I’m not really looking for anything else to do right now.”
“I’ve got about all I can handle.”  or even,
“I could probably do more,
but I’m just not going to right now.”
I can promise you that I have said these things out loud
or thought them thousands of times.
It’s easy to drift into that
“if I can just get through this day” mentality.  Survival.
The craziness of a full-time job and raising kids.
Plus, there are people at church that ask me to do things
all the time……surely they don’t understand how BUSY I am.
Nobody else could possibly be as busy as me, right?
Get somebody else to do it.
I AM FULL
But……I can also promise you the biggest
failings that I’ve had as a Christian
(and father, husband, business person, etc)
have not been due to sin, but instead due to apathy and
laziness.  Overestimating how busy or tired I am,
not caring enough about others to get off my butt and
get moving.  And most importantly, failing to take into
account the love, strength, and guidance of my
Heavenly Father when making plans or figuring
out how much “I” am capable of taking on.
I sit still.
I fail to serve, grow, love, or live life to the full
because I simply fail to trust God.
1 Peter 4:11 tells us, “If anyone serves, they should do so
with the strength God provides, so that in all things God
may be praised through Jesus Christ.”
I don’t know of any organization that is made up of
individuals who view themselves as slackers, lazy,
underachieving, or doing just enough to get by.
But every family, church, business, and sports team is
filled with people who think they are giving their best
and doing all they can do, when they’re really not.
We’ve all seen that person and been that person.
Doesn’t do any good to have others tell us we can do
more and be more until we decide to change,
to trust God more and rely on His strength and not our
own to get us moving in the right direction.
Whether you need God to push you or pull you,
you have to trust Him enough to take the first step in the
right direction.  Stop living uphill, fighting a losing battle
on your own.  Find positive momentum.
Start moving and let Him keep you moving.
You might surprise yourself.
You might even (gasp!) start looking for something more to do.

Maybe I Am a Role Model?

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barkley role model
Nobody wants to follow a loser
(unless you’re a loyal Bengals fan).
Acquiring followers requires success,
credibility, winning.
Most of us don’t seek to rule the world
(or even the entire tri-state area if you follow Phineas & Ferb)
or seek 1,000 Facebook friends or Twitter followers.
And we might buy into the old Charles Barkley
“I am not a role model” line.
But like it or not we all influence the people
each day that our life touches.
Pretty serious business when we call ourselves Christians.
Ultimately we aren’t looking for “followers”, but trying to
live in a way that will lead others to follow the One that
we follow.
I’ve never been so wowed by someone’s biblical
knowledge that I was motivated to make
major changes in my life.
But I have certainly been influenced by those
who lean on the understanding of God’s word and
His promises, especially when they hold close to these
things in life’s most difficult times.
Do we live like winners or losers?
The Bible was not written to simply be studied.
Possession of knowledge by itself has no real value.
The Holy Bible was written to change us….constantly.
change obama style(If we could change him, that would be nice also), but seriously………
Success?  Certainly not financial or in ways of the world.  Success (being a winner) shines brightest in our relationships.  Do our relationships cause others to look favorably on our faith…..our Lord?  Sure relationships are tough because
we can’t correctly do anything that we simply do not
understand (insert husband, wife, or boss joke here).
We must constantly seek understanding daily from
God’s word that changes our hearts……
and changes our lives.
When we struggle with relationships,
we may not necessarily struggle with God,
but solutions are certainly found in HIS living word.
Credibility or our ability to influence those around us in a
positive way, comes not simply from knowledge, even
Biblical knowledge.  It comes from living powefuly for God
in our relationships as evidenced by unconditional love,
sacrificial love, and extending to others the same grace that is given to us.
People can’t see our minds, our hearts, or our intentions.  But they form opinions of our faith based on our words, our actions, our reactions, and the times we fail to take the necessary action.
Winner or loser?
Direction of your influence?
Figure out where it’s going and use God’s word each
day to begin to steer it in the right direction.
If someone seeks faith-related answers from you, will
your life dictate that you will have credibility in your answers?

Choosing Joy

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teddy

http://wapc.mlb.com/play?content_id=26392353

When you have the right allies,
there is no need to worry about the
strength of your enemies.
Teddy, a 30 year old man with Downs Syndrome
displays joy in the purest form in this video from
an April 18th Cincinnati Reds game.
Serving in the role of bat boy in this particular game,
Teddy seems to have a special
bond with Reds 3rd baseman Todd Frazier.
Following a Frazier home run, Teddy rushed from the
dugout to greet Frazier with uncontrollable excitement
and enthusiasm after he crossed home plate
(with a meaningless run to make the score 11-1).
But the camera kept going back to the bat boy,
and every camera shot showed him smiling at the
top of the dugout steps, pumping his fists and
looking toward theskies as if to say,
“Thank you God! This is the greatest moment ever.”
As the game progressed, additional camera shots of
this wonderful young man showed that, to him,
pretty much everything is “the greatest ever”.
Retrieving a bat from the field, running onto the field to
give the home plate umpire a fresh supply of balls…….
same enthusiasm, fists pumping, looking toward the skies…..greatest moment ever.
Watching this young man with tears pouring down my
face, I knew there were lessons to be learned just from
watching him.  On the surface, it was easy to see that
this young man’s joy was so contagious, putting smiles
on the faces of the players  and obviously capturing the
hearts of the commentators and anyone watching on tv.
I’d also venture to guess that Teddy
has the ability to bring out a caring side in people with a
special talent that few others possess.
In Matthew 18:3 Jesus said,
“I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” 
It occurred to me that Satan is the one who robs us of our joy.  And it would appear that God gives children and special individuals like Teddy a special protection that does not allow Satan to steal their joy (there was such a pure innocence in his joy).  Satan cannot take away ours either unless we allow him to.  When our faith increases, we draw closer to God.  As He becomes greater, we become less, and we grow in peace and JOY.  We can trust Him more, much in the same way a child trusts parents without question and fully realizes their dependence on them.  We  DO have the right ally and
we must lean on Him daily to defeat our enemy and
claim what is rightfully ours as his children…..
A full life of peace and joy!

You Found WHAT in Your Kid’s Room?

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rooted in christ
People would normally expect to or fear finding the wrong things in teenager’s rooms.
I found this picture that my daughter had painted on the wall in her room.
I never noticed it before because the door covers it when it swings open.
Don’t know how long ago she painted it.
It reads Colossians 2:7 “rooted in Christ”.
Colossians 2:6 So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him,
7  rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught,
and overflowing with thankfulness.
I’m thankful for people in my kids’ lives that help them grow the roots of their own faith.
Parents alone can’t do it.
I  live in a small town.
I love our small town.
I see evidence in my own kids and the kids in our community each day,
evidence of the influence of a body of believers who surround our children each day with love.

Matthew 22:36-39

 36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

Great things happen when people simply love God and love others.
Lives are changed.  Hope appears in places where there was none.
I love our schools and I’m thankful for teachers who have a genuine concern for the welfare of their students.
I’m thankful for my kids’ friends and their parents who love my children like their own and watch over them when I’m not around.
I’m thankful for my church and all the wonderful people in our community who truly love our children
and try their best to steer them down the right path.
I’m thankful for coaches who see our kids beyond the next game or season, and try to envision what kind of character they develop.
Seeing this and reflecting on these things serves as a powerful reminder for me
of the difference that each of us can make, one child at a time.
I assume that most people are like me (not seeing yourself as possessing any great spiritaul gifts/talents).
We can all love.
Most of us don’t struggle with hate.  The struggle is with apathy & complancency.
We make choices every day, to live for self or live for others, to get involved or to turn our back and walk away.
Choose love.
Pray for our children, for their future.
And search for the determination to make a difference in their future.
Pray for parents and all who spend time with our children.  Encourage them.
Be rooted in Christ, not in our own shortcomings and weakness.
Acknowledge that our own inadequacies are overcome by a  mighty God
Let your life demonstrate the hope and the peace that we can have in knowing Jesus
I’m feeling sort of “mighty” now…..how about you?

Through the Eyes of A Child

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 kal cincy
A different perspective.
It’s good sometimes to see things through the innocent eyes of a child.
I took my 7 year-old son Kal to his first Reds game today.
The Clark Griswold came out in me (“getting there is half the fun”),
so we took the scenic route through the roughest parts of Newport, KY (vintage Pabst Blue Ribbon & Weideman signs on every corner bar,
wiedemann
steel bars over store windows, dirty streets, houses in disrepair…..”roll em up”).
I saw a crumbling 150 year-old brick house painted with a horrid color of blue, separated from the dirty street only by 3 feet of broken sidewalk.
But Kal saw it differently, “Dad, look at that pretty blue house.  That’s my favorite color.”
I saw a 77 Buick with a cracked & shredding vinyl top, unmatched paint and tires, and a spare tire sitting in the middle of the road for some unknown reason.
But Kal’s perspective was different once again, “Dad, look at all these old cars…..how cool they are.”
I saw block after block of hopelessness; homes, cars, and streets showing no sign of pride or upkeep, wouldn’t want to drive through it at night or walk through it in the day.
But Kal didn’t see it this way,
“Dad, what’s the name of this town?
These houses look like they might be haunted, and they’re pretty ratchet, but this place is awesome!”
I saw only signs of people struggling through a sad existence.
Kal saw things as being unique, special!
God has placed beauty…..good…..all around us. 
When we fail to see it or find it, it may be time to find a different perspective.
He also fills this world with beautiful people; God does not make mistakes.
We can’t simply love the obviously nice, pretty, and desirable people.
Refuse to judge by appearance.
Matthew 5:47  (New Century Version)  “And if you are nice only to your friends, you are no better than other people. Even those who don’t know God are nice to their friends.”
See things, see people…..through the innocent eyes of a child.
Search for a perspective that matches our Heavenly Father’s.
Hope for the lost depends on this.
Absence of hope only happens when we collectively judge “what someone deserves.”…..when we turn away……fail to love.
hilton head 2013 etc 116Seeing things for the first time, through the eyes of a child.

Control Freak 101

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Man, life is tough being married to a control freak!
Just kidding.  Some of you kept reading, waiting for the boom.
“Man, is he really gonna blast his wife like that?  She’ll kill him!”
Riding down the highway one day with a friend who shall remain nameless,
he sensed that his driving made a little antsy.
When he asked if his driving made me uncomfortable, my response was,
“I’m not as comfortable as I’d be if I was driving”. 
 control freak
I guess I am more guilty of being a control freak than I realize or want to admit.
Always wanting to control, not only where I’m going, but how fast (or slow in my case) I get there,
and every turn along the way.
Not really a good trait when combined with a perceived possession of a crystal ball and an appetite for instant gratification.  Translation=
I look at situations and think I know exactly what result my involvement will bring,
and I choose to do nothing if that result is not an immediate positive one. 
People who find themselves in a bad place over and over due to bad decisions……..I’m not gonna do anything to help,
they’ll just screw up again.
Or that person who has no interest in church or a relationship with Jesus……
their family has done everything they can and prayed relentlessly for them over the years.
My actions surely won’t make a difference.
But it’s a terrible mistake to act only when we can safely predict an immediate favorable result.
God’s timing is not our timing.
The action that I take or fail to take today may be only the first step or the last in a long process.
My actions could be the beginning of an answered prayer on someone else’s part.
I don’t have to be able to see the end!  I just have to know Who will be there for every step.
God’s intervention can happen whenever His people act in faith and trust Him with the results and the timing of those results
……..instead of playing control freak and fortune teller.
Keep praying, don’t give up, and be ready to move even when it doesn’t make sense.
And stop stomping your foot in search of that passenger side brake…..it’s not there.
Trust.

Proverbs 3:5

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

Revising History With Grace

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University of Kentucky vs Duke 1992.
Considered by many to be the greatest basketball game ever played.
I can’t watch it.  Too painful.  Bad ending.
I will never ever watch it.
Those final seconds, the replay of the shot made by “he who must not be named”
will make any UK fan scramble to find a remote any time it pops up during a college basketball broadcast.
i-still-hate-laettner_design
As a high school senior in 1986, my high school team made our school’s first ever appearnce
in the state basketball tournament in Rupp Arena.  Thrill of a lifetime for a kid in a basketball
crazy state.  I’ve always had a copy of our first round (and only) game on VHS and recently had
it copied to DVD.  But I never watched it.  Too painful, worst game ever, no desire to watch a game
that left me with years of memories of letting down my school and teammates.
27 years later, I finally sat down and watched the game in it’s entirety. Conclusion:  I didn’t stink as bad in that particular game or as a player as it has lived on for all these
years as a faulty memory.  Was I scarred for life by a faulty perception of the past?
Of course not.
But it reminds me that when we look back at our worst moments, others don’t remember them quite as well
or as critically as we do.
Christians still fail too often to fully accept God’s grace; to live boldly for Him moving forward
…..because we are hindered by shame, inability to let go of the past, and an inability (or unwillingness)
to forgive ourselves and others.  We must accept God’s grace.
 But also we need to remember that just because God forgives us doesn’t mean that the times we have wronged others are forgiven and forgotten.  This is one case where we may need to take steps backward before we can move forward.
Our misdeeds may become insignificant over time compared to the fact that we have failed to apologize,
admit fault, or show any signs of remorse or peacemaking.
Matthew 6:15 “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Forgive yourself, forgive others.  I can’t waste time waiting for an apology from others but I should
always consider if someone is due one from me.
We can’t change the past but we can deal with past
mistakes in a way that improves relationships moving forward.  
We can’t live in the past but we can surely clean it up.
Mend fences today,
from mistakes of the past
for better relationships tomorrow.
Stop littering the landscape of your past with “Laettners” (things that are so horrible, you want to push them from your mind).
Start make better endings today,
Forgive and be forgiven.
The next time one of the kids that I coach asks me if I was a good basketball player,
my answer will change from “nah, I sucked” to “I was decent.”
And I will NEVER watch the 92 Duke game!
That is a part of my past that I still struggle to make peace with.