Raising Strong Daughters Part 3.
….and this one applies to sons also.
My dream is to have kids who don’t comb/brush their hair, aren’t bothered by standing in public with their fly open, and only look in the mirror to practice making goofy faces.
I’d rather hear my kids drop an F-bomb than to ask, “Dad, what will people think?”.
No, I don’t subscribe to the “just be yourself” mentality that becomes a convenient excuse for disobedience to God.
Psalm 139:13-14 (NIV)
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
Wonderfully made by our Heavenly Father.
Teach it to our children early and often. The world teaches something else entirely.
Living to impress people. Modern culture sells it at an alarming rate. Parents buy it. Our kids grow up not knowing any better.
We say stupid things, “You’re not going out of the house looking like that are you?” (variations of this prase are allowed when it comes to modest dress).
We spend too much time standing in front of the mirror. Spend too much time taking care of our appearance every single time we go out in public.
We watch garbage on TV that sends a terribly wrong message about what is important in life.
We buy stupid things to make us look better, skinnier, younger, wealthier.
We obsess over “PRETTY”.
Yeah I’m a man and I’m getting into dangerous territory. It’s important for girls to feel pretty, blah blah blah.
So don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about insecurities of teen girls. I’m talking about small steps along the way before they are teens.
The habits, words, and actions of parents that shape their confidence, strength, and identity.
I’m talking about overkill….an overuse of the word “pretty” that ties in neatly with an unhealthy approval-seeking quest.
A quest where security in one’s identity only comes to those who possess physical beauty, those who win the approval of others.
The selfie generation.
If you’re concerned as a parent with your daughter’s ability to attract boys…..then I don’t really know what to tell you.
If your hope and prayer is for daughters with a strength that comes from their faith , then I push for a simple awareness.
To know they are wonderfully made does not happen by accident. And it must go much deeper than constant chatter about appearance.
We should all have more concern with Who made us than with who likes us.
Easier said than done. But peace and inner strength come when we live to please God instead of living to please and impress others.
It’s not something we can just pass on to our kids when they’re old enough to leave home.
Tell them and show them that they’re awesome every day, “I’m so glad God made me your daddy, and I’m so glad He made you my daugher.”
Give thanks to God (in their presence) that He made them just the way they are.
Don’t start babbling with the “boyfriend” talk when they’re six years old.
Walk around in public occasionally with your fly open to properly demonstrate that “we shouldn’t worry what others think”.
Model for them a life that says at all times, “God matters”.
Avoid innocent phrases degrading yourself that aren’t so innocent when a child hears them in repitition; “I look awful” “I feel fat” “I can’t go out of the house looking like this”.
Tell them they’re beautiful inside and out.
Encourage a life of Bible-reading in your daughter. Let them see you reading……that God’s word is an important part of your life.
The truth is that we all need to feel pretty, wanted, and accepted in some way.
But before our daughters become old enough to worry about it, let”s make sure they fully understand that they are “WONDERFULLY MADE”.
THE DAUGHTER OF A KING