I can’t get my mind around a world where killing unborn babies is considered women’s healthcare. We who oppose abortion are said to fight “the war on women”. Something so selfish and barbaric, explained away as a choice or a right. But none of this is a news flash, so I won’t touch on the usual talking points.
This weekend, in a moment of strange parental flashback, my mind was opened to another side of abortion that I don’t often see discussed; how men change when they become dads.
I spent about six hours Saturday using a weedeater. Headphones on, iTunes library set to shuffle. Usually a great time of reflection for a wandering mind.
Metallica’s “Hero of the Day” assaulted my ears, above the sound of my machinery. And songs always remind me of events or periods of life. My thoughts immediately went to my oldest daughter, who is away at college.
Just over 19 years ago, Metallica released Load, and it just happened to be the CD that was in the player of our Ford Explorer when my wife went into labor. Kristy was cool with Metallica but I operated the radio with the assumption that she wasn’t in the mood for any headbanging stuff on the way to the hospital to give birth to our first child.
So the volume stayed low. “Hero of the Day” was one track that could be considered a ballad, so it was the only song that got turned up loud enough to hear on that memorable trip of nervous excitement.
Over the years, I’ve thought of that night every time I’ve heard that song. But on this day, after initially having thoughts of really just missing my daughter, my thoughts circled around to the kind of man I was on that last night
before I became a father.
Because I became a different man the first time I held that baby girl in my arms. What I thought I knew about love changed instantly. My view of the world changed the instant I became a father.
God’s love for me became more real than ever before. I accepted Jesus as my savior shortly after. Not saying that I’m a super Christian or even a good one, but I am saying without doubt that I am still being transformed every day, and that becoming a father is what started the transformation.
When men become fathers and embrace that role, change happens. Selfish becomes selfless. Unmotivated becomes motivated. Harsh becomes gentle. Irresponsible becomes responsible. Apathy becomes compassion and determination. Underachievers become overachievers. The unloving love. The short-sighted develop a vision for the future. Lousy men become decent men. Good men become great men.
When men become fathers, they have great purpose in life. They not only become valuable to their families, their potential for positive impact on the world around them increases dramatically.
Abortion robs them of this purpose. I have no idea what the statistical factors are as to the presence of a father in abortion situations. But I know that, in cases of abortion, the possibility of a man being amazingly transformed by bringing a child into the world, is exactly zero.
Going back in time for one or two generations, consider a small percentage of men transformed from lousy men to good men, from good men to great men. What impact could they have had on growing children and society as a whole? Should we be shocked by what we are seeing with the disappearance of traditional families, lack of respect for authority, and declining morals?
My main point is this:
There are 3 individuals that God has given life to in this equation. There is mother. There is a baby. There is a dad. To speak of rights and choice of only the mother is a convenient and selfish lie.
Women killing their unborn children and men missing out on the chance to be transformed by fatherhood (and men who make the horrible choice to not raise their own children).
Do we have to pretend like there are worse things going on in this country? I don’t think there are.
I am a much different man, a better man, because my children were born. The world is different place because my four children are here and I believe that eternity will certainly be different as well. That is pro-life. That is truth.
Just A Dad 
I am a lucky (really blessed) dad of 3 children, and I love the same music as well. You and I have quite a bit in common it seems. Anyway, this is a great post, where important points are made. There is much to be said, but you’re writing is touching the heart of the matter.
I appreciate your stance on pro-life. I just have one question for you. What happens when a woman is raped and gets pregnant? What then would you suggest that woman do? Have the baby, and then what? Give it up for adoption? As a woman who has been raped, to take away someone’s choice about such a BIG life decision after having all of the choice taken away from you as a woman, it would be absolutely devastating. Everyone tends to take the woman’s choices away in situation’s like this. While I would probably have the baby and suffer the terrible pain that comes with everything that that would mean, do you honestly think that the choice shouldn’t be hers to make? While this beautiful soul has come into the world born out of something so damaging and ugly, the woman is served day after day with a child that reminds her of that horrible event.
Let’s get into having the child and giving it up for adoption. To lose a child in that way , I can’t even imagine. I don’t ever want to live in a world where someone else raises my child. This does not include carrying someone else’s child for them, and giving them the gift that they can’t make on their own. That is a choice a woman enters into, knowing fully the ramifications of the decision. I am also all about girls having babies before their ready and giving them up for adoption. Sometimes, that’s what’s best for everyone involved. Nevertheless, still devastating in it’s own right to the mother.
I guess, what I am trying to say is. In some circumstances, the woman SHOULD have the choice. If I had gotten pregnant after I was raped, I have no clue what I would have done. I felt pressure from literally every aspect of my life. My parents, and boyfriend at the time telling me to report it. Even though that meant that I was condemning someone I grew up with, and losing a countless amount of friends along the way. I felt pressured to report, and bring up charges by everyone else in my life. I felt like I had absolutely no choice in the matter at all. Instead of receiving support, I received other people’s thoughts and beliefs. They took away my choice. If I didn’t report him then obviously I am ok with what happened….right? That line is so completely blurred the morning after, your world just gets shot into some black hole, and you are unsure whether or not you will ever get back what you lost.
Spoiler alert, turns out you don’t. Those friends are still lost. Friendships are still damaged, and more continue to walk away from me. Do you have any idea what that does to a person’s self-worth. Even if you take ALL the “right” actions in that situation. YOU are still the one who loses everything. Yourself included. You may not agree with a woman’s choices, but please don’t ever advocate to take the choices away from her. I guess the biggest thing I want to pass on to you is that the world isn’t as black and white as God always says it is in the bible. While I am spiritual, I have a hard time believing in a God who would punish and hurt people HE created, for what reason? I deserve to go through all this for what? All the sins I have committed. This is how I atone for them? THIS IS NOT OK. I DO NOT SUPPORT someone who says they LOVE us, and that would allow such treacherous things to happen to us. If God can do anything he wants, then why create a world with people of free will and the capability of being so awful and hurtful?
Why create us at all? Definitely seems like more of a cruel joke than a blessing.
I don’t see this as God’s fault. I don’t believe in God as he is portrayed in the bible. I believe in a collective unconscious, and souls being sent to different places in the many universes to learn and grow. I believe in re-incarnation. I believe that we go through our lives with a pre-set plan for our souls growth. What we do with that plan once we are born into whatever place or world is up to us. Don’t take this comment to mean that I don’t have hope. The only thing that keeps me running after all that I have endured in this lifetime are the lessons I am learning in it’s wake. I am here to cure the sickness that is infecting this planet, and I am sure that I will return to this planet again, in the hopes of even helping someone else see the way the universe was meant to be. Even just one person is a victory. One good deed. That’s all it takes.
I wish you and your lovely family light and love on your journey through this life, and all others. -SC
Awesome post! That truly isn’t a common perspective but it should be examined as such. There are three parties involved and all three need to be considered. The birth of a baby is a remarkable event and shouldn’t be stolen but rather embraced and cherished! Exceptional topic and blog Karrick! My gf and I just started a blog involving similar themes, please follow us @jandmblogs/romancetheordinary. Thanks!