Our blue-eyed boy. Class of 2018. Our girls graduated from high school in 2014 and 2016. A short time ago, yes. But things seemed so much different then. In the short years since, the information age has exploded to a new level. And with easy access to vast amounts of information, comes the spreading plague of misinformation and its blind acceptance as fact.

How will these things affect a generation of young adults? It’s worrisome to come to know some people’s attitudes about work and the role of government in their lives. It’s disturbing to witness what appears to be a quickening of the decline in both work ethic and personal responsibility.

Disturbing enough that I have this strange urge to be a commencement speaker at a high school graduation, to share some thoughts with my son and his peers before they enter the work force, college, and the next stage of adulthood. But since I despise public speaking and I don’t own a suit (and since I wouldn’t appear on anyone’s short list of commencement speakers), I’ll just lay out 12 points here. Some things I hope that graduating seniors will do, some things I hope they understand. All things that I hope our own son has heard, understands, and has had consistently modeled for him.

1. You CAN make a living doing something you love. Start looking for it and don’t be afraid to change course. But you’ll never reach the point of doing what you love without doing some things that you hate. If you find yourself in a job that you hate, do it well until you find something better.
2. Tell the truth. Always. Even when it’s uncomfortable. Today is a good day to stop doing anything that you’ll be tempted to lie about tomorrow.
3.  Ditch these phrases: A. “It’s not my job.” B. “It’s not my fault.” C. “I can’t” D. “That’s not fair”. Life’s not fair. You can determine to face and overcome the challenges and unfairness of life, or you can spend a lifetime whining about it.
4.  Be fair. Treat others the way you want to be treated, and not necessarily the way they’ve treated you. It may require patience, but you’ll be amazed at the peace and empowerment that comes your way.
5.  When you enter the workforce, understand that EVERYBODY can be replaced. Never give your employer a reason to believe they can find someone to do your job better than you for the same wages.
6.  Respect authority, respect your elders, and be a great listener. But question everything. Just because you hear it from a college professor, or on the news, or from a politician, or read it on the internet, that doesn’t make it true. Dig deeper with an open mind. The truth won’t always be to your liking, so don’t just flock to sources that tell you what you want to hear or be too eager to believe it. The people that have enough concern and courage to tell you what you don’t want to hear and challenge you to a higher standard……..those are the people that shape you into a better person. Don’t avoid them.
7.  The government is not your mommy, there to guarantee your success or prevent your failure. Regardless of your background, you have luxuries and opportunities that your grandparents never had. It’s up to you to make the most of them and you won’t find success overnight. Never mistake a government safety net as a luxury. It will have poisoned your life if you reach a point where you choose to not work because you don’t have to work.
8.  Someday you may achieve some degree of power, influence, and financial success. Liberty declares that you can choose how to use these things. Hopefully you will use them well and discover the satisfaction of lifting others up. But you don’t have to apologize for success.
9.  Consistency matters. Whatever you do, do it well. Show up every day. Do your best all day every day and never half-way do anything. Don’t be tempted to take shortcuts or be lured by the temptations of instant gratification. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. You have a long road ahead, so don’t center your life around only the things that are five feet and five minutes in front of you. Cast a longer vision.
10.  You may have faced tougher obstacles than others, and you may have endured terrible situations in your past, but you are not a victim………unless you choose to be. You get to decide whether you’ll be someone who overcomes or someone who makes excuses. You can’t change your past but you’re in charge of today……..and tomorrow.
11.  Don’t let others’ opinions of you direct your actions. But DO give others a reason to hold a high opinion of you. Integrity matters. Do the right thing even when nobody is watching. Do what you say you’ll do. Don’t manage your reputation. Earn your reputation. Earn respect, don’t demand it. And earn the right to be heard (sometimes by knowing when to shut up).
12.  Little things matter. Leave things in better shape than you found them in. Speak kindly to food servers and cashiers. Show up on time. Put things back where you found them. Forgive easy. Don’t forget to smile. Pick up garbage that’s not your own. Don’t ask someone else to do something you can do for yourself. Lend a helping hand. Never fear doing more than your share. Learn how to say no. Count your blessings when you’re tempted to complain. Choose your words and the tone of your voice wisely. And don’t tell people how tired you are. Nobody wants to hear it.

Bonus: Marriage is serious business. Don’t enter into it lightly. Don’t give up on it too easily. It takes work, just like anything worthwhile. Shame on you if you aren’t willing to work at it.  And parenting, it’s even more serious business. It’s the most important job you can ever have. Do it well. Do it better than your own parents did. It’s your best chance at changing the world