You Found WHAT in Your Kid’s Room?

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rooted in christ
People would normally expect to or fear finding the wrong things in teenager’s rooms.
I found this picture that my daughter had painted on the wall in her room.
I never noticed it before because the door covers it when it swings open.
Don’t know how long ago she painted it.
It reads Colossians 2:7 “rooted in Christ”.
Colossians 2:6 So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him,
7  rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught,
and overflowing with thankfulness.
I’m thankful for people in my kids’ lives that help them grow the roots of their own faith.
Parents alone can’t do it.
I  live in a small town.
I love our small town.
I see evidence in my own kids and the kids in our community each day,
evidence of the influence of a body of believers who surround our children each day with love.

Matthew 22:36-39

 36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

Great things happen when people simply love God and love others.
Lives are changed.  Hope appears in places where there was none.
I love our schools and I’m thankful for teachers who have a genuine concern for the welfare of their students.
I’m thankful for my kids’ friends and their parents who love my children like their own and watch over them when I’m not around.
I’m thankful for my church and all the wonderful people in our community who truly love our children
and try their best to steer them down the right path.
I’m thankful for coaches who see our kids beyond the next game or season, and try to envision what kind of character they develop.
Seeing this and reflecting on these things serves as a powerful reminder for me
of the difference that each of us can make, one child at a time.
I assume that most people are like me (not seeing yourself as possessing any great spiritaul gifts/talents).
We can all love.
Most of us don’t struggle with hate.  The struggle is with apathy & complancency.
We make choices every day, to live for self or live for others, to get involved or to turn our back and walk away.
Choose love.
Pray for our children, for their future.
And search for the determination to make a difference in their future.
Pray for parents and all who spend time with our children.  Encourage them.
Be rooted in Christ, not in our own shortcomings and weakness.
Acknowledge that our own inadequacies are overcome by a  mighty God
Let your life demonstrate the hope and the peace that we can have in knowing Jesus
I’m feeling sort of “mighty” now…..how about you?

Don’t Blink- You’ll Miss Something Funny

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This is a collection of short stories (very short) of family humor posted on Facebook over the past year.

Al Bundy or Kal Bundy??

kal bundy

At Dairy Queen with my 7 year-old son Kal,

we ran into one of his buddies.

After visiting their table, he returned to ask me if he could leave

with them to watch a basketball game at a local elementary school.

I said, “sure son.”

Kal, “Thanks dad, I’m gonna go to the bathroom first.”

I hand him $2, “take this buddy, you’ll need it to get in.”

He paused and gave me a  puzzled look.

“I need $2 to get in the bathroom?”

blizzard

It’s always good to have plenty of good help when you’re putting groceries away.

We haven’t reached epic Duggar quantities of food yet, but for a family of 6,

any help I can get is valued.

“I know I bought biscuits, but I don’t see them in the fridge anywhere.”

biscuits in cabinet

Sometimes it takes creativity to stir the interest of kids in sports.

Sometimes they create on their own.

Poor picture quality so it’s hard to see the tambourine behind his back.

“Look dad, I can dribble and play the tangerine at the same time.”

Anybody have an accordian I can borrow?

kal tambourine

Staying up late watching Reds game with my good buddy Kal since we both had huge naps this afternoon.

So thankful for the steady stream of Viagra and Cialis commercials.

Been looking for a good chance to explain erectile dysfunction to my 6-year old.

cialis

Ipod wizard Kal introduced me to the voice command feature on my phone today.

My first command, “play Stormtroopers of Death”. (cd title is “Speak English or Die)

When Kal saw the album art come up on screen he said,

“Dad, that album is probably offensive to Mexicans.”

He may be right.  Political correctness wasn’t real big in 1985.

sod

On my knees crawling around in my shrubs, painting my porch front and steps.

Kept smelling something funky,

Realized that it was the distinct odor of human urine that I was crawling around in.

Then it all came rushing back to me…..bringing up boys…..that first time I uttered those magic words,

“just pee off the porch, son”

and how that evolved into a consistent, “hey dad! can I pee off the porch?”.

“Sure, son.  Pour it on.” (no pun intended).

Better than cat pee or dog crap I guess.

Enjoy Your Kids in Every Season

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enjoy your kid

Great commercial.

Always brought a tear to my eye. Enjoy your kids, now!

This dad in the commercial, that’s the kind of dad I’ve tried to be.

Slung myself headfirst into my two daughters’ athletic adventures.

Volunteer to coach sports i know nothing about (soccer)….check.

Never miss a soccer game, basketball game, or cross country meet (until it reaches the point of being two places at once)…..check.

Coaching middle school basketball for three years, getting “bonus time” with one or both of my girls
and getting to know and love their friends as well as the families of their friends….check.

But this commercial I’ve seen so many times before takes on a new meaning now, a whole new set of twisting emotions.

You see, my oldest daughter is a senior in high school now, going through the year-long tour of “last-times.”

macy maddie soccer

She didn’t just play in her final soccer game last week, she played her last soccer game with her sister.

Best friends, sidekicks, teammates.

At the completion of the game, I told a friend that it sure is a funny feeling, knowing that I’ve watched her play for the last time.

He told me that life is about seasons, that before I know it I’ll be walking her down the aisle at her wedding.

After someone finally pried my fingers away from his neck before unconsciousness set in, I knew that he was right.

Seasons change. For little sister (sophomore) it’s a painful realization that her best friend will be going away to college soon. Her mentor and role model in
sports and life will no longer be constantly by her side. A new season awaits.

For a dad? This is the one that really clobbers me. It becomes increasingly difficult for dads, as daughters go through their high school years, to “connect”
with their daughters. Maybe it’s harder to find common ground. I struggle to start conversations or keep them going because I don’t ask the right questions or give the right answers.

Possibly I long for simpler times before cell phones, Twitter, Instagram, and snapchats.

Simpler times when I could elicit more than a one word answer because I perhaps knew the right questions to ask.

.

Sports. As long as they’re competing and playing games, it’s one more small way to connect with my little girls.

And maybe it’s a way to delay or cheat the reality of them not being my little girls any more..

The commercial takes me back. Hundreds, if not thousands of sporting events.

All those times playing in the yard, at the gym, at the soccer field.

Road trips. Basketball games, soccer games, cross country meets, track meets.

Celebrations. Success. Disappointments. Losses. Proud moments just watching them compete and be their best.

macy maddie cc

Soon they’ll run their last cross country meet together.

Daddy’s girls. Playing games.

When they stop playing games, they won’t be my little girls anymore.

There is joy in sports.

But true peace, hope, and joy come from knowing Jesus as your savior.

This is the greatest common bond I share with my girls. serving the same Lord.

Deep down, I know it’s true. Sure, I will always fondly remember their days of youth.

But I love to witness the strength of their character today…….and look forward to the ways

they will use it to impact this world with the good news of Jesus!

Next season, please……maybe……I guess…….if I have to.

Who Moved My Cheese and Spilled the Ketchup

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Patience.  Pass it on.
Maybe every parent can appreciate this commercial.  Every human can relate to it.
Powerful message and a not-so-gentle reminder of my own past failures in the area of patience with my kids.
A nice twist here is the fact that the gentleman is not only near the completion of his work, but he is also old enough
that the prospect of doing the whole project over again will not only be time-consuming, but also probably unpleasant
physically on a pair of 70+ year-old knees.
patience
His mind may be saying , “oh crap!”, but his reaction shows love and kindness.
Each time it airs, I’m flooded with memories of poor reactions on my own part.
Times I failed to exhibit patience with my own children.
Bad moods driven by the stresses of life and problems in my relationships with other people=
Shorter fuse when dealing with cases of kids simply being kids.
Reactions that come too quickly and too harshly.  Guilty.
Discipline without a display of love, teaching, or explanation.  Guilty.
Judgement errors in tone of voice and volume of voice.  Guilty.
The great value of a commercial like this?
Grabbing my attention today.
Causing me to reflect on my failings of yesterday.
Plan for better reactions and outcomes tomorrow.
Kids will be kids.  Bad things will happen, crazy things will happen.
“I will not react this way!”
Plan ahead.  Pray for strength and guidance for those times where life leaves you with your guard down.
“I will react this way!”  With patience, kindness, love, teaching.   (and discipline with purpose instead of anger).
ketchup
So when my 7 year-old son Kal opened the magnum-sized ketchup bottle lid side down while standing in front
of the refrigerator (and a good amount of ketchup did find its way to the kitchen floor), my initial thought was to deliver a harshly spoken dose of scorn, “Son!  What did you think was gonna happen?”
But I remembered the “Patience” commercial when I saw that look in his eyes that perfectly combined an “uh-oh” look with more than a
trace of fear of my reaction.
My initial poor response was replaced with a slightly better, “That’s called gravity son.  And it’s nothing we can’t fix.  I’ll help you clean it up.”
Pay attention today.
Make an honest evaluation of the past.
Remember our own imperfections when faced with someone else’s.
Plan for better reactions tomorrow.
Love, teach, influence in godly ways……….patiently.

Church Violence, WWE Style

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It’s always tough as a parent to teach those lessons that aren’t immediately understood.
Hard to know how to react when brotherly violence suddenly erupts in a church lobby.
russian bear
I witnessed 7 year-old little brother coming up quickly behind 13 year-old big brother.
I could see what was unfolding but I was frozen in my tracks, couldn’t react.
Impact.  Little brother rammed his head at full speed into an unsuspecting big brother’s back.
Big brother responded with a quick head-slap the sent little brother head first into the floor crying.
My first instinct was to head-slap big brother.
But that is the beauty of being blessed with four children.
The experience of knowing that big brother had absorbed the swift justice of an open palm to the back of the head
thousands of times before in his career as a WWE wannabe (wild Indian syndrome) when he only deserved hundreds……
led me to the point of showing some restraint.
My second instinct was to pick up little brother and hug on him.
But I waited.
I did nothing (so hard to not protect/defend/console the little guy)….
Until he stood up and buried his face in my belly crying.
And I laid my hand on his head and said, ” are you ok?”
And of course he was.
“Would that have happened if you hadn’t done something first that you shouldn’t have done?” 
No reply, but he knew the answer.
Consequences.
It’s easy to miss opportunities to teach kids lessons about the consequences of their actions
if we aren’t intentional and consistent in our efforts.
And it’s hard to teach what we sometimes fail miserably at ourselves.
How many times do we make a poor choice and try to blame someone else when the consequences smack us in the back of the head?
Most bad results that I encounter can be traced back to
1) Something that I did that I shouldn’t have done.  or
2) Something that I failed to do or adequately train someone else to do.  or
3) Poor planning on my part.
Real life application:  when I’m racing down the road to get my son to school before the tardy bell, it will certainly be the fault of the farmer in front of me driving 25mph in a 55mph zone if he is tardy.  It won’t have anything to do with the fact that I hit “snooze” 6 times and failed to do anything the night before to prepare for the morning scramble.
Maybe once I start practicing it better, then maybe somebody will believe me when I preach it.
When we make poor choices, bad results are sure to follow.
george the animal

Is Your Story Worth Telling?

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I’ve heard many times of the importance of Christians being able to tell their “story”
How they came to accept Christ as their savior.
Circumstances and people that led them to this point, and the changes in their life after being born again in Christ.
new life old life
Of course I’d never done this because
1) I just didn’t find my own story to be of any interest to other people and
2) Men only take action out of necessity and I’d never actually had to do it.
But I had the opportunity to do something for my church where being able to tell my story seemed to be a necessary preparation.
Also felt the need to be able to explain why I choose to attend my church.
Result?
 I still don’t find my story very intersting and I don’t have any interest in telling it to stadium sized crowds.
metallica_concert1
But…..this reflection of my life, where I was and where I’ve been compared to where I am now,
and the prize that I work toward and try to influence others toward……
overwhelmed me with a greater understanding, appreciation, and love for the people that God has placed in my life along the way.
So what IS my story?
That salvation can come in that moment,
but true change (consistently growing in faith, love, and understanding God’s word) is a lifelong effort.
It is slowed down terribly by guys who employ an “I got this” attitude and fail to embrace the concept of surrendering to God.
Surrender-Control
Our growth is crippled by using our own strength and vision instead of our almighty Father’s.
So why do I go to FCC Grayson?
Because that is where God has placed all the people who He has apparently placed in charge of destroying the old me.
They probably don’t even know what their job description is or has been,
but they have been willing to allow God to use them to do all those little things along the way that show no immediate results.
I am definitely left with a deeper appreciation for my church family.
God uses ordinary people to do amazing things.
So even if you don’t want to tell your story , we should all make it a point to at least know our story.
Get a clearer picture of how God has used others to work by faith in your life.
Only then can we see more clearly just how He can use us to make an impact in the lives of others.
My life each day is my story.  If I do it in a way that honors God, one person and one relationship and one encounter at a time…….
Only then do I become a credible messenger of His story.

Adventures in Fatherhood: The One-Liners

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kal cereal

Bedtime conversations with Kal.
“Kal, I sure am glad that God made me your daddy.  And I’m glad He made you my boy.”
Pause
“Dad I’m glad He invented farts.”

Me too son…..me too.
karrick ryne frog“Son, there’s no way you can catch a frog on a rod and reel with a redworm.”

Classic one liner for a 7 year-old boy tonight.
After a typical boy’s 90 second shower with his mother unfortunately in the vicinity,
Kal got to hear the old “there is no way you could have washed!.
Did you wash your face and tail?”
He honestly answered that he didn’t wash his face and was ordered back into the shower.
Once back in the shower,
I heard him yell,
“Hey mom, could you get me another wash cloth?  I already washed my butt with this one.” 
Instinct….he already knows the unwritten MAN laws of showering, wash your butt last, or in his case……
wash butt only (cause your face doesn’t stink).
And he might have actually been listening those times when he asked if he really had to take a shower
and I told him to just jump in and get his hair wet and wash his butt.
Guess we both are busted.
kr and kal big bass
I know that my wife beat me to the punch on posting this pic….
But pictures can’t describe the laughter and mayhem that ensued when Kal Google image searched “world’s biggest turd” on the drive to our fishing spot.
They’re only young once. Enjoy it and don’t tell mom.
macy shoe
Macy, ya think it might be time for some new soccer shoes?
“No daddy, I think these will be ok.  I got em taped back together pretty good.”

Through the Eyes of A Child

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 kal cincy
A different perspective.
It’s good sometimes to see things through the innocent eyes of a child.
I took my 7 year-old son Kal to his first Reds game today.
The Clark Griswold came out in me (“getting there is half the fun”),
so we took the scenic route through the roughest parts of Newport, KY (vintage Pabst Blue Ribbon & Weideman signs on every corner bar,
wiedemann
steel bars over store windows, dirty streets, houses in disrepair…..”roll em up”).
I saw a crumbling 150 year-old brick house painted with a horrid color of blue, separated from the dirty street only by 3 feet of broken sidewalk.
But Kal saw it differently, “Dad, look at that pretty blue house.  That’s my favorite color.”
I saw a 77 Buick with a cracked & shredding vinyl top, unmatched paint and tires, and a spare tire sitting in the middle of the road for some unknown reason.
But Kal’s perspective was different once again, “Dad, look at all these old cars…..how cool they are.”
I saw block after block of hopelessness; homes, cars, and streets showing no sign of pride or upkeep, wouldn’t want to drive through it at night or walk through it in the day.
But Kal didn’t see it this way,
“Dad, what’s the name of this town?
These houses look like they might be haunted, and they’re pretty ratchet, but this place is awesome!”
I saw only signs of people struggling through a sad existence.
Kal saw things as being unique, special!
God has placed beauty…..good…..all around us. 
When we fail to see it or find it, it may be time to find a different perspective.
He also fills this world with beautiful people; God does not make mistakes.
We can’t simply love the obviously nice, pretty, and desirable people.
Refuse to judge by appearance.
Matthew 5:47  (New Century Version)  “And if you are nice only to your friends, you are no better than other people. Even those who don’t know God are nice to their friends.”
See things, see people…..through the innocent eyes of a child.
Search for a perspective that matches our Heavenly Father’s.
Hope for the lost depends on this.
Absence of hope only happens when we collectively judge “what someone deserves.”…..when we turn away……fail to love.
hilton head 2013 etc 116Seeing things for the first time, through the eyes of a child.

Control Freak 101

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Man, life is tough being married to a control freak!
Just kidding.  Some of you kept reading, waiting for the boom.
“Man, is he really gonna blast his wife like that?  She’ll kill him!”
Riding down the highway one day with a friend who shall remain nameless,
he sensed that his driving made a little antsy.
When he asked if his driving made me uncomfortable, my response was,
“I’m not as comfortable as I’d be if I was driving”. 
 control freak
I guess I am more guilty of being a control freak than I realize or want to admit.
Always wanting to control, not only where I’m going, but how fast (or slow in my case) I get there,
and every turn along the way.
Not really a good trait when combined with a perceived possession of a crystal ball and an appetite for instant gratification.  Translation=
I look at situations and think I know exactly what result my involvement will bring,
and I choose to do nothing if that result is not an immediate positive one. 
People who find themselves in a bad place over and over due to bad decisions……..I’m not gonna do anything to help,
they’ll just screw up again.
Or that person who has no interest in church or a relationship with Jesus……
their family has done everything they can and prayed relentlessly for them over the years.
My actions surely won’t make a difference.
But it’s a terrible mistake to act only when we can safely predict an immediate favorable result.
God’s timing is not our timing.
The action that I take or fail to take today may be only the first step or the last in a long process.
My actions could be the beginning of an answered prayer on someone else’s part.
I don’t have to be able to see the end!  I just have to know Who will be there for every step.
God’s intervention can happen whenever His people act in faith and trust Him with the results and the timing of those results
……..instead of playing control freak and fortune teller.
Keep praying, don’t give up, and be ready to move even when it doesn’t make sense.
And stop stomping your foot in search of that passenger side brake…..it’s not there.
Trust.

Proverbs 3:5

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

Revising History With Grace

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University of Kentucky vs Duke 1992.
Considered by many to be the greatest basketball game ever played.
I can’t watch it.  Too painful.  Bad ending.
I will never ever watch it.
Those final seconds, the replay of the shot made by “he who must not be named”
will make any UK fan scramble to find a remote any time it pops up during a college basketball broadcast.
i-still-hate-laettner_design
As a high school senior in 1986, my high school team made our school’s first ever appearnce
in the state basketball tournament in Rupp Arena.  Thrill of a lifetime for a kid in a basketball
crazy state.  I’ve always had a copy of our first round (and only) game on VHS and recently had
it copied to DVD.  But I never watched it.  Too painful, worst game ever, no desire to watch a game
that left me with years of memories of letting down my school and teammates.
27 years later, I finally sat down and watched the game in it’s entirety. Conclusion:  I didn’t stink as bad in that particular game or as a player as it has lived on for all these
years as a faulty memory.  Was I scarred for life by a faulty perception of the past?
Of course not.
But it reminds me that when we look back at our worst moments, others don’t remember them quite as well
or as critically as we do.
Christians still fail too often to fully accept God’s grace; to live boldly for Him moving forward
…..because we are hindered by shame, inability to let go of the past, and an inability (or unwillingness)
to forgive ourselves and others.  We must accept God’s grace.
 But also we need to remember that just because God forgives us doesn’t mean that the times we have wronged others are forgiven and forgotten.  This is one case where we may need to take steps backward before we can move forward.
Our misdeeds may become insignificant over time compared to the fact that we have failed to apologize,
admit fault, or show any signs of remorse or peacemaking.
Matthew 6:15 “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Forgive yourself, forgive others.  I can’t waste time waiting for an apology from others but I should
always consider if someone is due one from me.
We can’t change the past but we can deal with past
mistakes in a way that improves relationships moving forward.  
We can’t live in the past but we can surely clean it up.
Mend fences today,
from mistakes of the past
for better relationships tomorrow.
Stop littering the landscape of your past with “Laettners” (things that are so horrible, you want to push them from your mind).
Start make better endings today,
Forgive and be forgiven.
The next time one of the kids that I coach asks me if I was a good basketball player,
my answer will change from “nah, I sucked” to “I was decent.”
And I will NEVER watch the 92 Duke game!
That is a part of my past that I still struggle to make peace with.