The Model Father

How do we measure the lasting effect of a father’s influence?

I’m 45 years old.  I still make daily decisions under the thought process of,

“how would my dad handle this situation?”

KR and Pappaw at Final Four

Why?  Not because he ever micro-managed any aspect of my life at any point.

Not because he talked so much that I quit listening.

My father has modeled for me through the years the simple practice of doing the right thing, making good decisions.

How long will my influence last in the lives of my four children?

When does the talking and the hands-on teaching start to fade away and give way to the

practice of consistent modeling for a Christian dad (or mom)?

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Teaching moments come in obvious forms when our children are small.

Their blunders are obvious.  The inquisitive questions are many.

But what may not seem obvious is that our time with them and their dependence on us diminishes with each passing day.

Before you realize it, your kids aren’t kids anymore.  They become teenagers, young men, young ladies.

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They don’t particlarly want to spend too much time in the presence of their dad anymore (shocking, right?).

You may reach some strange realization that your role as a father is diminished.  You just aren’t “needed” for much anymore.

What happened to the days when you sat in the floor coloring, playing board games, wrestling?

The days of being bombarded with goofy questions?  “Why daddy?”  “When daddy?”

Those days are gone.

What is my value in their life now?

Same role that it has always been for anyone who takes seriously the privilege of being called daddy.

Teacher, protector, mentor, provider……..model.

Your children are no longer standing over your shoulder watching your every move and bombarding you with questions.

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But they’re still watching.  In many ways, their need for you may be greater than ever during their teenage years.

The opportinities to be a positive impact in their lives haven’t gone away, they’ve just rearranged a bit.

Do your kids hear people only talking about the importance of prayer and bible study?

Or do they witness their parents consistently doing these things?  Do they see that it’s a priority in your life?

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To understand the importance of Christian modeling by parents is to come to realize that each day is filled with endless opportunities to do great things that will make a lasting impact in the lives of our children.

How will they understand the concepts of love, grace, and obedience to God if we don’t bring these things to life consistently in their presence each day?

So many chances each day……to do the right thing…..to simply obey God, even when it’s not the easiest path to take.

They may not be asking questions, but they’re watching.  And they’re grading you.  Do your actions match up with what they’re learning that it means to be a Christian?

Every word, every encounter, every day, they all count.

Honesty, integrity, and purity in every situation.  No exceptions.

Treating others with kindness, respect, and love.  Choosing our words and tone of voice wisely.  They’re listening.

Grace.  Do we forgive?  Do we quickly admit our own mistakes and ask forgiveness?

I’m not sure when kids pass that tipping point of whether or not they still want to be just like dad when they grow up.

But I’m positive that if I give my best effort each day to obey God and to match my own character with that of my savior Jesus Christ……

that desire will never leave them.

Seek the type of lasting impact that has positive eternal consequences.

OK, I guess I really am still needed around here!

You Found WHAT in Your Kid’s Room?

rooted in christ
People would normally expect to or fear finding the wrong things in teenager’s rooms.
I found this picture that my daughter had painted on the wall in her room.
I never noticed it before because the door covers it when it swings open.
Don’t know how long ago she painted it.
It reads Colossians 2:7 “rooted in Christ”.
Colossians 2:6 So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him,
7  rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught,
and overflowing with thankfulness.
I’m thankful for people in my kids’ lives that help them grow the roots of their own faith.
Parents alone can’t do it.
I  live in a small town.
I love our small town.
I see evidence in my own kids and the kids in our community each day,
evidence of the influence of a body of believers who surround our children each day with love.

Matthew 22:36-39

 36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

Great things happen when people simply love God and love others.
Lives are changed.  Hope appears in places where there was none.
I love our schools and I’m thankful for teachers who have a genuine concern for the welfare of their students.
I’m thankful for my kids’ friends and their parents who love my children like their own and watch over them when I’m not around.
I’m thankful for my church and all the wonderful people in our community who truly love our children
and try their best to steer them down the right path.
I’m thankful for coaches who see our kids beyond the next game or season, and try to envision what kind of character they develop.
Seeing this and reflecting on these things serves as a powerful reminder for me
of the difference that each of us can make, one child at a time.
I assume that most people are like me (not seeing yourself as possessing any great spiritaul gifts/talents).
We can all love.
Most of us don’t struggle with hate.  The struggle is with apathy & complancency.
We make choices every day, to live for self or live for others, to get involved or to turn our back and walk away.
Choose love.
Pray for our children, for their future.
And search for the determination to make a difference in their future.
Pray for parents and all who spend time with our children.  Encourage them.
Be rooted in Christ, not in our own shortcomings and weakness.
Acknowledge that our own inadequacies are overcome by a  mighty God
Let your life demonstrate the hope and the peace that we can have in knowing Jesus
I’m feeling sort of “mighty” now…..how about you?

Don’t Blink- You’ll Miss Something Funny

This is a collection of short stories (very short) of family humor posted on Facebook over the past year.

Al Bundy or Kal Bundy??

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At Dairy Queen with my 7 year-old son Kal,

we ran into one of his buddies.

After visiting their table, he returned to ask me if he could leave

with them to watch a basketball game at a local elementary school.

I said, “sure son.”

Kal, “Thanks dad, I’m gonna go to the bathroom first.”

I hand him $2, “take this buddy, you’ll need it to get in.”

He paused and gave me a  puzzled look.

“I need $2 to get in the bathroom?”

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It’s always good to have plenty of good help when you’re putting groceries away.

We haven’t reached epic Duggar quantities of food yet, but for a family of 6,

any help I can get is valued.

“I know I bought biscuits, but I don’t see them in the fridge anywhere.”

biscuits in cabinet

Sometimes it takes creativity to stir the interest of kids in sports.

Sometimes they create on their own.

Poor picture quality so it’s hard to see the tambourine behind his back.

“Look dad, I can dribble and play the tangerine at the same time.”

Anybody have an accordian I can borrow?

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Staying up late watching Reds game with my good buddy Kal since we both had huge naps this afternoon.

So thankful for the steady stream of Viagra and Cialis commercials.

Been looking for a good chance to explain erectile dysfunction to my 6-year old.

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Ipod wizard Kal introduced me to the voice command feature on my phone today.

My first command, “play Stormtroopers of Death”. (cd title is “Speak English or Die)

When Kal saw the album art come up on screen he said,

“Dad, that album is probably offensive to Mexicans.”

He may be right.  Political correctness wasn’t real big in 1985.

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On my knees crawling around in my shrubs, painting my porch front and steps.

Kept smelling something funky,

Realized that it was the distinct odor of human urine that I was crawling around in.

Then it all came rushing back to me…..bringing up boys…..that first time I uttered those magic words,

“just pee off the porch, son”

and how that evolved into a consistent, “hey dad! can I pee off the porch?”.

“Sure, son.  Pour it on.” (no pun intended).

Better than cat pee or dog crap I guess.

Enjoy Your Kids in Every Season

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Great commercial.

Always brought a tear to my eye. Enjoy your kids, now!

This dad in the commercial, that’s the kind of dad I’ve tried to be.

Slung myself headfirst into my two daughters’ athletic adventures.

Volunteer to coach sports i know nothing about (soccer)….check.

Never miss a soccer game, basketball game, or cross country meet (until it reaches the point of being two places at once)…..check.

Coaching middle school basketball for three years, getting “bonus time” with one or both of my girls
and getting to know and love their friends as well as the families of their friends….check.

But this commercial I’ve seen so many times before takes on a new meaning now, a whole new set of twisting emotions.

You see, my oldest daughter is a senior in high school now, going through the year-long tour of “last-times.”

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She didn’t just play in her final soccer game last week, she played her last soccer game with her sister.

Best friends, sidekicks, teammates.

At the completion of the game, I told a friend that it sure is a funny feeling, knowing that I’ve watched her play for the last time.

He told me that life is about seasons, that before I know it I’ll be walking her down the aisle at her wedding.

After someone finally pried my fingers away from his neck before unconsciousness set in, I knew that he was right.

Seasons change. For little sister (sophomore) it’s a painful realization that her best friend will be going away to college soon. Her mentor and role model in
sports and life will no longer be constantly by her side. A new season awaits.

For a dad? This is the one that really clobbers me. It becomes increasingly difficult for dads, as daughters go through their high school years, to “connect”
with their daughters. Maybe it’s harder to find common ground. I struggle to start conversations or keep them going because I don’t ask the right questions or give the right answers.

Possibly I long for simpler times before cell phones, Twitter, Instagram, and snapchats.

Simpler times when I could elicit more than a one word answer because I perhaps knew the right questions to ask.

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Sports. As long as they’re competing and playing games, it’s one more small way to connect with my little girls.

And maybe it’s a way to delay or cheat the reality of them not being my little girls any more..

The commercial takes me back. Hundreds, if not thousands of sporting events.

All those times playing in the yard, at the gym, at the soccer field.

Road trips. Basketball games, soccer games, cross country meets, track meets.

Celebrations. Success. Disappointments. Losses. Proud moments just watching them compete and be their best.

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Soon they’ll run their last cross country meet together.

Daddy’s girls. Playing games.

When they stop playing games, they won’t be my little girls anymore.

There is joy in sports.

But true peace, hope, and joy come from knowing Jesus as your savior.

This is the greatest common bond I share with my girls. serving the same Lord.

Deep down, I know it’s true. Sure, I will always fondly remember their days of youth.

But I love to witness the strength of their character today…….and look forward to the ways

they will use it to impact this world with the good news of Jesus!

Next season, please……maybe……I guess…….if I have to.

Who Moved My Cheese and Spilled the Ketchup

Patience.  Pass it on.
Maybe every parent can appreciate this commercial.  Every human can relate to it.
Powerful message and a not-so-gentle reminder of my own past failures in the area of patience with my kids.
A nice twist here is the fact that the gentleman is not only near the completion of his work, but he is also old enough
that the prospect of doing the whole project over again will not only be time-consuming, but also probably unpleasant
physically on a pair of 70+ year-old knees.
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His mind may be saying , “oh crap!”, but his reaction shows love and kindness.
Each time it airs, I’m flooded with memories of poor reactions on my own part.
Times I failed to exhibit patience with my own children.
Bad moods driven by the stresses of life and problems in my relationships with other people=
Shorter fuse when dealing with cases of kids simply being kids.
Reactions that come too quickly and too harshly.  Guilty.
Discipline without a display of love, teaching, or explanation.  Guilty.
Judgement errors in tone of voice and volume of voice.  Guilty.
The great value of a commercial like this?
Grabbing my attention today.
Causing me to reflect on my failings of yesterday.
Plan for better reactions and outcomes tomorrow.
Kids will be kids.  Bad things will happen, crazy things will happen.
“I will not react this way!”
Plan ahead.  Pray for strength and guidance for those times where life leaves you with your guard down.
“I will react this way!”  With patience, kindness, love, teaching.   (and discipline with purpose instead of anger).
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So when my 7 year-old son Kal opened the magnum-sized ketchup bottle lid side down while standing in front
of the refrigerator (and a good amount of ketchup did find its way to the kitchen floor), my initial thought was to deliver a harshly spoken dose of scorn, “Son!  What did you think was gonna happen?”
But I remembered the “Patience” commercial when I saw that look in his eyes that perfectly combined an “uh-oh” look with more than a
trace of fear of my reaction.
My initial poor response was replaced with a slightly better, “That’s called gravity son.  And it’s nothing we can’t fix.  I’ll help you clean it up.”
Pay attention today.
Make an honest evaluation of the past.
Remember our own imperfections when faced with someone else’s.
Plan for better reactions tomorrow.
Love, teach, influence in godly ways……….patiently.

Adventures in Fatherhood: The One-Liners

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Bedtime conversations with Kal.
“Kal, I sure am glad that God made me your daddy.  And I’m glad He made you my boy.”
Pause
“Dad I’m glad He invented farts.”

Me too son…..me too.
karrick ryne frog“Son, there’s no way you can catch a frog on a rod and reel with a redworm.”

Classic one liner for a 7 year-old boy tonight.
After a typical boy’s 90 second shower with his mother unfortunately in the vicinity,
Kal got to hear the old “there is no way you could have washed!.
Did you wash your face and tail?”
He honestly answered that he didn’t wash his face and was ordered back into the shower.
Once back in the shower,
I heard him yell,
“Hey mom, could you get me another wash cloth?  I already washed my butt with this one.” 
Instinct….he already knows the unwritten MAN laws of showering, wash your butt last, or in his case……
wash butt only (cause your face doesn’t stink).
And he might have actually been listening those times when he asked if he really had to take a shower
and I told him to just jump in and get his hair wet and wash his butt.
Guess we both are busted.
kr and kal big bass
I know that my wife beat me to the punch on posting this pic….
But pictures can’t describe the laughter and mayhem that ensued when Kal Google image searched “world’s biggest turd” on the drive to our fishing spot.
They’re only young once. Enjoy it and don’t tell mom.
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Macy, ya think it might be time for some new soccer shoes?
“No daddy, I think these will be ok.  I got em taped back together pretty good.”